The Honest Truth About Taking A Baby To Baby Beach Aruba
I was standing in the middle of the Target diaper aisle wearing these awful linen maternity shorts that I somehow still fit into three years postpartum, holding a lukewarm iced coffee that cost twelve dollars, when my phone buzzed with...
The Messy, Honest Truth About Getting a Baby Axolotl
It was 7:00 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen trying to pour coffee while my four-year-old oldest son shoved a piece of construction paper directly into my line of sight. On it was a crude...
Raising An Asian Baby In Rural Texas Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was standing in my kitchen staring at my oldestβwho's now five and a walking, talking cautionary tale about what happens when you give a toddler unchecked access to YouTubeβwhen he was just a screaming newborn. My own mother was...
Debugging The Wardrobe: The Envelope Fold Revelation
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday when the system crashed. The baby monitor on my nightstand emitted a sound that was less of a cry and more of a wet, ominous sputtering noise. I stumbled into the nursery, bleary-eyed...
The Absurdity of Adult Soap and Safe Toys for Your Toddler
I'm standing in our minuscule London bathroom at two in the morning, holding a writhing, screaming toddler at arm's length because she's somehow managed to achieve a nappy blowout that defies the basic laws of physics. It's quite literally everywhere....
Carrying His Babies Stealing His Heart: Expecting Twins Reality
I was sitting in the dark at 3 a.m., trying to keep my eyes open while my son aggressively refused to sleep. The breast pump was making a mechanical wheezing sound that I swear had a syncopated rhythm to it....
Dear Past Me: Surviving Your Husband's Grumpy Anime Dad Phase
Hey Jess from six months ago. I know exactly where you're right now. You're hiding in the laundry room, sitting on top of the humming dryer for warmth, stress-eating a bag of stale Goldfish crackers you found in a toddler's...
What I Wish I Knew About Raising Your Very Own Human Baby Sloth
Dear Tom of exactly six months ago, You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo while the kettle boils, pressing your forehead against the cold tiles. It's 3:14 am. Twin A has refused to be put down since Tuesday, and Twin...
That Time A Baby Possum Taught Me Everything About Infant Sleep
I was standing in my gravel driveway at two in the afternoon, sweat pooling in the small of my back, holding a literal shoebox containing a shivering, bald little creature while my oldest toddler screamed so loud the neighbors probably...