The Truth About Amber Necklaces and Safe Baby Jewelry Options
Iβm standing in this dimly lit, incense-heavy boutique in Brooklyn back in 2018, wearing yoga pants that have an unidentified crusty stain on the knee. Maya is six months old, she's screaming at a pitch that Iβm pretty sure is...
The Truth About Baby Heat Rash (Even in the Middle of Winter)
It was Thanksgiving day, forty degrees outside here in Texas, and I was unpeeling my oldest son, Hunter, from his fleece bear suit like a sweaty little tamale. My mother-in-law had insisted he needed a long-sleeve onesie, a heavy sweater,...
The Absolute Mess of Buying Baby Girl Shoes That Actually Work
I'm currently sitting here at 9:45 AM on my third cup of lukewarm French roast, trying to remember exactly when I lost my mind over miniature footwear. I think it was October 2018. My sister was getting married in upstate...
The real truth about baby food pouches and picky eating
My mother-in-law told me I need to boil and blend organic root vegetables until my kitchen looks like a nineteenth-century apothecary. The guy ahead of me at our Portland neighborhood coffee shop loudly proclaimed that purees destroy a baby's jaw...
Baby Flat Head: My 3 AM Panic Spiral and What Actually Happened
It was 3:14 AM and I was wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and sheer desperation. Leo, my firstborn, was exactly ten weeks old. He was fast asleep in his bassinet, totally oblivious, and I was...
Billionaire Custody Drama: What Real Parents Can Actually Learn
I spent my first two months as a mom trying to run my household like an intensive care unit. I had spreadsheets for dirty diapers and laminated feeding schedules taped to the fridge. It was a disaster. I was exhausted,...
Why I Finally Stopped Stressing About Enfamil Baby Formula
The absolute biggest myth in modern parenting is that if you aren't illegally importing some $40-a-can organic goat's milk concoction translated from German on a sketchy third-party website, you're basically poisoning your child. I know this because seven years ago,...
The Unexpected Drama of Having a Hip Dysplasia Baby
The six-week checkup at your local NHS GP surgery is supposed to be a relatively victorious milestone. You have kept a human alive for a month and a half, you're operating on a cumulative total of eleven minutes of sleep,...
Dear Me: Surviving a Baby Brown Recluse Spider Scare in the Nursery
Dear Sarah from six months ago. You're currently standing in the laundry room at 2:14 AM wearing a milk-stained inside-out nursing tank and one sock. You're holding Maya's tiny pink shoe under the blinding fluorescent light, squinting at a squished...