Magazine

90s nostalgiababy accessoriesholidayparenting humorsurvival
A tiny plush elf doll sitting next to an 11-month-old infant who looks completely bewildered.

Debugging the Holiday Magic: Our First Baby Elf Setup

"Put it on the mantle so he knows Santa is watching," my mother told me on Thanksgiving, handing me a felt doll with suspicious eyes and unnaturally long limbs. "Don't bring that surveillance state psychological warfare into your home," my...

Read more

holidaynewbornorganic baby clothesorganic cottonsafety tipswinter
Baby in a soft green organic cotton long sleeve romper playing on a rug

A Nurse's Guide to the Infant Holiday Wardrobe Trap

My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last December holding a miniature polyester tuxedo complete with a clip-on bowtie and tiny suspenders. She fully expected my four-month-old to wear this structural engineering marvel to our family dinner. I spent five...

Read more

4-month-old6-month-oldbabyholidayparenting humoursurvival
Confused dad trying to soothe a grumpy grinch baby wearing an organic cotton bodysuit

Troubleshooting Your Grinch Baby When Holiday Chaos Hits

I'm currently sweating through my favorite flannel shirt while attempting to stuff my eleven-month-old son into a synthetic, neon-green elf costume that has actual jingle bells aggressively sewn onto the collar. He is thrashing around like a fish on a...

Read more

baby geargift ideasholidaymotherhoodsafety tipssustainable
Shatterproof wooden baby's first christmas ornament on a pine branch

Surviving the drama of your baby's first christmas ornament

I was sitting on the floor of our freezing Chicago apartment with a vacuum in one hand and a bleeding thumb in the other. My mother-in-law had just left. Her gift had lasted exactly four seconds out of the tissue...

Read more

baby safetydigital footprintholidaysafety tipsscreen timetoddler
Toddler looking at a blank wooden toy instead of a digital tablet screen

The Kim Kardashian Santa Baby Video Is An Algorithm Nightmare

Listen. The biggest lie they sell us about modern motherhood is the safety of the search bar. You think you can type a harmless holiday song into the television, hand over the remote, and buy yourself exactly four minutes to...

Read more

baby safetychoking hazardsholidayhumourorganic cottonParenting Guide
Toddler hands grabbing a wooden baby jesus in a manger

Keeping the Baby Jesus Out of Your Toddler's Mouth

I was in the kitchen aggressively scraping burnt porridge out of a pan when the silence hit. Any parent of two-year-old twins knows that silence is never golden; it's highly suspicious and usually expensive. I dropped the pan, sprinted into...

Read more

baby careholidaymotherhoodnewbornparenting humoursurvival
Overwhelmed mother holding a baby in a messy living room

What Three Wise Men and a Baby Gets Right About Real Parenting

My mom told me to keep him wrapped up tight in a heavy blanket so he wouldn't catch a draft. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, insisted he needed to "breathe" in the ninety-degree Texas heat and tried to strip him...

Read more

autumnholidayorganic baby clothesparenthoodsurvival
Stressed mom holding baby in a simple cotton Halloween outfit

Surviving Baby's First Halloween Without the Scratchy Tears

I was standing in the middle of a damp Texas pumpkin patch in 2019, wrestling my oldest out of a $65 synthetic lion suit while he screamed loud enough to wake the dead. The zipper was stuck in a tuft...

Read more

gift ideasholidayhumourmusicsustainabletwin dad
Two toddlers destroying a living room while holiday music plays in the background.

Let's discuss the absolute madness of those santa baby lyrics

It was 4:13 PM on a Tuesday in mid-December. The sky over London had been a bruised, miserable purple since lunchtime, and inside the flat, the twins were orchestrating what I can only describe as a coordinated assault on our...

Read more