Decoding the Baby's Breath Flower Meaning (And Why I Panicked)
I was standing in our kitchen at 3:14 AM, wearing sweatpants that hadn't been washed since Tuesday, staring at a massive glass vase on our island. We had just brought Maya home from the hospital three days prior. The vase...
Finding a baby shower game that won't make your friends flee
Letβs start with the greatest lie ever sold to expectant parents, which is the idea that pre-birth gatherings are calm, sophisticated afternoons where close friends sit around in pastel linen, sipping herbal tea and bestowing quiet wisdom. If you've ever...
Why our gender-neutral baby shower actually saved my sanity
I was standing in a strangerβs kitchen in Hackney, trying to discreetly spit out a bright blue cupcake that tasted distinctly of Smurf and regret, when I realised everything I believed about the modern baby shower was entirely wrong. Before...
Tracking Down a December 9th Beanie Baby is Total Madness
It started, as most of my parenting anxieties do, with a casual comment over a lukewarm flat white. When the twins were approaching their birthday, my mother-in-law declared I simply had to find a plush toy with their exact birth...
To Past Jess: What to Know About That September 24th Birthday Plush
Dear Jess of six months ago: Right now, you're sitting cross-legged on the sticky floor of the Goodwill on Highway 84, aggressively Googling plush toy birthdates while your youngest tries to eat a rogue Cheeto off your shoe. You just...
The Truth About Gifting an October 24th Birthday Twin
My mother-in-law unzipped her floral weekender bag and pulled out a vacuum-sealed plastic pouch with the solemnity of someone handling a transplant organ. Inside was a slightly crushed, orange and black plush cat. She had spent three weeks scouring the...
A Letter To Myself: Stop Buying Crap and Write a Better Baby Card
Dear Sarah from last October, You're currently standing in the greeting card aisle at the Target on Route 17, wearing those black leggings with the mysterious yogurt stain on the left knee, holding an iced oat milk latte that's aggressively...
The honest guide to personalized baby gifts
I was three days postpartum, sitting on the floor of my Chicago apartment in mesh underwear, weeping openly over a cardboard box. My aunt had sent a gift. It was a massive, aggressively pink velvet pillow, roughly the size of...
Real Geschenk fΓΌr Mutter zur Geburt: What Moms Actually Want
Before I had my son Leo, three completely different people cornered me with their brilliant gifting strategies for my impending motherhood. My sweet but clinically insane coworker Susan handed me this massive, scratchy, hot-pink tulle tutu in the breakroom and...