Dear past me: What I wish I knew about raising happy Dutch babies
It's three in the morning and you're sitting on the edge of the glider in a freezing Chicago nursery. You're holding a screaming six-month-old who hasn't slept a solid stretch since he was born. You pull out your phone, desperate...
What Is A Baby Shower (And Why I Was Totally Wrong About Them)
I'm currently staring at a spreadsheet I built eleven months ago titled Baby_Shower_V1_Final.xlsx. My original strategy for figuring out what's a baby shower was to treat it like a vendor procurement meeting. I thought we could just email our friends...
Navigating The CD Baby Login Confusion And Infant Auditory Rules
I was sitting on my laundry room floor at two in the morning with my oldest, trying to drown out his colic screams by frantically scrolling through my phone. My mom had just texted me, "Bless his heart, just get...
Finding The Best Baby Detergent Without Losing Your Sanity
I was standing in my basement laundry room at 3:14 PM on a Tuesday, holding Maya’s absolute favorite mustard-yellow onesie which was now covered in an ungodly amount of actual mustard-yellow poop, just completely frozen in panic because of the...
Why Skipper Babysitters Inc Dolls Terrify Me As A Parent
I'm currently on my hands and knees in our London flat, using a high-powered camping headlamp to scan the living room rug for a piece of pink plastic no larger than a grain of rice. The grand parenting lie is...
Banana pancakes for baby: Why my first twin batch was a disaster
The smoke alarm in our London flat has a very specific, piercing shriek that usually only makes an appearance when I attempt to be culinary before 7 am. Tuesday morning was no exception. I was standing in the kitchen, squinting...
The Real Guide to Throwing a Baby Sprinkle That Isn't Tacky
When I got pregnant with my second, I received three completely contradictory pieces of advice in the span of forty-eight hours. My mom, sipping her sweet iced tea on my porch, told me that having a party for a second...
Why Getting A Baby Turtle Is Actually A Terrible Idea For Kids
My index finger is pressed against the remarkably smudged glass of a terrarium at a strip-mall pet store in Beaverton, desperately trying to explain the concept of a "shell" to an 11-month-old who's currently attempting to eat my shoelaces. It...
Before you get quail chicks for the kids, read this
At 3:14 am on a Tuesday, I found myself dropping glass marbles into a milk bottle lid while two frantic, thumb-sized birds watched me with what I can only describe as big suspicion. In the next room, my two-year-old twin...