Why I Completely Surrendered to the Fisher-Price Baby Era
It's 4:17 in the morning, and my bare foot has just made solid, agonising contact with the Smart Stages Puppy in the dark hallway. Without warning, an aggressively cheerful, synthetic voice belts out, "I SEE YOU!" followed immediately by that...
Why The Ella Mai Baby Secret Made Me Rethink Everything
Right now, there's a half-chewed oat biscuit adhered to my left kneecap with what I can only assume is industrial-strength toddler saliva, and I'm staring at my phone screen in absolute awe. I'm looking at photos of Grammy-winning R&B singer...
What da baby's messy family structure taught me about boundaries
I was sitting at the nurses station at two in the morning a few years back, charting a pediatric asthma exacerbation that was taking way too long to stabilize. Right in front of my desk, two parents started a quiet...
Late Night Googling: Cheer Up Baby Full Movie and Other Tactics
The glow of my phone screen was the only light in the living room, and it was aggressively illuminating the spit-up crusted on my left shoulder. It was 2:14 AM. My husband was snoring in the bedroomβa sound that made...
Surviving the bye bye baby phase without losing your mind
I'm standing in the doorway of a toddler room that smells like wet wipes and desperation. My daughter's fingers are locked into the fabric of my jeans with the grip strength of a rock climber. Another mother just walked in,...
I Survived the Buybuy Baby Relaunch (And My Wife's Registry List)
I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Honda Civic last Tuesday, blinking stupidly at a massive blue and white sign in a New Jersey strip mall, completely convinced I had slipped into an alternate timeline. My wife, Sarah,...
Baby Ultrasound Expectations vs. Reality: A Nervous Dad's Guide
The worst Tuesday of my entire life started in a strip mall between a discount vape shop and a dry cleaner that smelled aggressively like harsh chemicals. My wife, Sarah, was 28 weeks pregnant, and her sister had gifted us...
The Great Bread Deception: Meeting A Baby Swan (And Surviving)
It's a crisp Tuesday morning at St James's Park, and an elderly gentleman in a tweed flat cap is hurling massive, doughy chunks of supermarket sliced white bread into the water. A fluffy grey cygnetβwhich I've just spent ten minutes...
Navigating Baby Steps Nudity and Family Privacy (And Pants)
It was 7:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my entryway wearing a stained NYU sweatshirt from 2009, holding a mug of coffee that had already gone cold because Iβd left it on the bathroom counter for...