The completely unglamorous truth about baby milk
You're standing in your kitchen at 3 AM holding a plastic container of white liquid up to the harsh microwave light. The baby is screaming in the other room. You're trying to remember if the water was supposed to go...
When do babies stop drinking formula: my messy transition
I was standing over my kitchen sink at 11:45 PM, aggressively scrubbing the tiny, useless plastic vents of a baby bottle for what felt like the millionth time. Chicago winters already destroy your skin, but adding hot water and dish...
The Best Formula for Breastfed Babies (And How to Survive the Switch)
It was 2:14 in the morning with my oldest son, Wyatt, and I was sitting on the edge of the glider sobbing into a burp cloth. He was screaming like a banshee, rooting around like a little feral piglet, and...
Why I Finally Stopped Stressing About Enfamil Baby Formula
The absolute biggest myth in modern parenting is that if you aren't illegally importing some $40-a-can organic goat's milk concoction translated from German on a sketchy third-party website, you're basically poisoning your child. I know this because seven years ago,...
Dear Past Marcus: Debugging the Baby Brezza Formula Pro Advanced
Dear Marcus from six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM. You're standing barefoot on the cold kitchen tiles of our Portland apartment, illuminated only by the aggressive, blinking red light of a plastic tower. You're holding a screaming five-month-old in...
Raising a Formula Baby: The Midnight Maths I Completely Failed
I'm standing in the kitchen in just my boxers, staring blankly at a silver tin of powder while the kettle aggressively clicks off. It's 3:14 AM. Upstairs, Twin A is doing her best impression of a hungry velociraptor, while Twin...
Why I eventually surrendered to similac baby formula at 3 am
I was aggressively shaking a plastic bottle at three in the morning when the lid shot off like a champagne cork. White sticky fluid coated my glasses, the kitchen counter, and my golden retriever, who immediately started licking the cabinets....
Finding the best formula for babies: A letter to my past self
You're standing in aisle four of the Hollywood Fred Meyer, it's 2:14 AM, and the fluorescent lights are making your left eye twitch. You're holding a purple can in one hand and a gold can in the other, desperately trying...
The Great Hydration Panic: Why Infant Water Rules Feel Backwards
It was the great London heatwave of 2022, the kind of oppressive humidity that makes you reconsider all your life choices, when I caught my mother-in-law creeping toward the pram with a miniature plastic cup of tap water. The twins...