Magazine
Raising a Black baby: A glitch report to my past self
It's 3:14 AM. I'm currently staring at the humidity sensor output for the nursery, trying to correlate a 4% drop in ambient moisture with why our son has been awake since one in the morning. I'm writing this to you,...
The Absurdity of Adult Soap and Safe Toys for Your Toddler
I'm standing in our minuscule London bathroom at two in the morning, holding a writhing, screaming toddler at arm's length because she's somehow managed to achieve a nappy blowout that defies the basic laws of physics. It's quite literally everywhere....
Carrying His Babies Stealing His Heart: Expecting Twins Reality
I was sitting in the dark at 3 a.m., trying to keep my eyes open while my son aggressively refused to sleep. The breast pump was making a mechanical wheezing sound that I swear had a syncopated rhythm to it....
Debugging the Meltdown: A Dad's Guide to Unsoothable Tears
My mother-in-law told me over FaceTime to just let him cry it out or I was going to spoil his lungs, whatever that means. The guy making my pour-over at the coffee shop confidently stated that my son was simply...
The Science of Baby Animals (And Why I Can't Bring A Hamster Home)
I was standing in Petco at 4:15 PM on a Tuesday, staring blankly into a terrarium of baby bearded dragons, genuinely calculating if acquiring a tiny reptile would solve my 11-month-oldβs mid-afternoon fussiness. In my sleep-deprived logic, she liked the...
How to Choose Cute Baby Girl Names Without Losing Your Mind
We're sitting in the parking lot of a Texas Roadhouse in the dead of August. I'm 38 weeks pregnant, sweating through a maternity shirt I bought on clearance, and absolutely sobbing into a to-go container of buttered rolls. Why? Because...
When the Alex Vesia News Hits Your 3 AM Dad-Brain Anxiety Spiral
It was exactly 3:14 AM. The Portland rain was aggressively pelting our bedroom window, sounding like someone dropping gravel on a tin roof, and I was lying frozen under the duvet. My 11-month-old son was in the nursery next door...
Dear Past Priya: The Truth About the Diddy Baby Oil Situation
You're standing in aisle fourteen of the Belmont Target right now. Your toddler is actively trying to consume a cardboard price tag she peeled off the shelf. You're holding a familiar pink bottle of mineral oil because you thought it...
Surviving the "Don't You Want Me Baby" Guilt Trip From Relatives
We were sitting in our Portland living room on exactly Day 12 of parenthood when the first breach of our perimeter occurred. My wife Sarah was exhausted, practically vibrating with postpartum adrenaline, and our daughter was finally asleep on her...