Magazine
The Ugly Truth About Bringing a Newborn Home to Your Fur Baby
I remember standing in the entryway of our dusty Texas ranch house, holding my oldest son, Tucker, while still wearing those horrific mesh hospital underwear. My yellow lab mix, Buster, sauntered up, sniffed my knees like I was hiding a...
The Night My G Baby Discovered Her Gums (and Destroyed My Sanity)
It was 3:14 in the morning on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the edge of the bath in our London flat, entirely motionless, letting my daughter chew aggressively on my left clavicle. We had recently started calling her...
The 3 AM Fart Wars: Real Gas Relief For Miserable Babies
It's 2:14 in the morning. I'm wearing a stretched-out nursing bra that smells faintly of sour milk and desperation, sitting cross-legged on the nursery rug, furiously pumping my three-week-old son's legs like he's trying to win the Tour de France....
A Letter To Myself About That Viral Playpen Panic Phenomenon
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're standing by the kitchen island right now. You've got a half-eaten samosa in one hand and your phone in the other. You're staring at a news headline and your chest is getting tight...
The 3 AM Blowout That Made Me Rethink Gerber Baby Clothes
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, the ambient temperature in the nursery was exactly 61.5 degrees, and I was staring at a structural failure of catastrophic proportions. The containment vessel had breached. My eleven-month-old son, who was supposed to...
The Honestly Messy Truth On How To Burp A Baby Without Tears
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on your sisterβs hideous beige microfiber sectional at 3:14 AM. You're wearing your husband Mikeβs stained college sweatpants from 2008, the ones with the hole in the left knee. There's...
What a Teen Pop Anthem Taught Me About Raising Kids
"Alexa, volume ten!" Those were the words that completely shattered my peaceful Tuesday morning while I was wrist-deep in sorting out a laundry basket full of crusty toddler socks. My oldest boy, Hunter, who's currently serving as my daily cautionary...
How Much Does It Cost to Have a Baby? A Twin Dad's Honest Maths
I'm currently sitting on the kitchen floor at eleven o'clock at night, staring at my Monzo app while Twin A attempts to aggressively eat a Sainsbury's receipt and Twin B sleeps heavily across my left foot. I can't feel my...
How Do Babies Breathe In The Womb? My Midwife Set Me Straight
There I was, twenty weeks pregnant with my oldest, laying on a paper-covered table in a freezing room that smelled distinctly of industrial hand sanitizer and old magazines. The ultrasound tech was aggressively pushing the wand into my bladder when...