Magazine
My First Kid's Face Looked Like a Pizza: What Causes Baby Acne
I was sitting on my living room floor surrounded by beige tulle, two ignored piles of laundry, and absolute mounting panic. I was trying to wrestle my oldestβwho's now five and still my primary cautionary tale for everythingβinto a perfectly...
I asked a doctor what do babies dream about and the truth hurts
It was three in the morning in our drafty Chicago apartment when my son let out a sound that was half-giggle, half-choke. I stood over his bassinet, gripping the edge like I was bracing for an earthquake. His eyes were...
The Absolute Truth About What A Baby Booter Actually Means
It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged between a cot and a towering pile of unsorted laundry, typing with my less dominant thumb while one of the twins uses my left shoulder as a surprisingly absorbent drool rag. I'm simply trying to...
What Is A Baby Shower (And Why I Was Totally Wrong About Them)
I'm currently staring at a spreadsheet I built eleven months ago titled Baby_Shower_V1_Final.xlsx. My original strategy for figuring out what's a baby shower was to treat it like a vendor procurement meeting. I thought we could just email our friends...
What is a sugar baby: How one google search ruined my afternoon
I was sitting on my faded living room rug, picking dried oatmeal out of my hair, while my toddler chewed thoughtfully on a rogue cheerio he found beneath the radiator. It was a bleak Tuesday afternoon in Chicago. I had...
What Is a Trust Fund Baby? Building Real Wealth for Your Kids
I was sitting at my kitchen table last Tuesday, sorting through a chaotic stack of shipping labels for my Etsy shop, when I caught my oldest son trying to feed a twenty-dollar bill to the dog. This is the same...
Troubleshooting Dry Skin: What Is Baby Oil Actually Used For
It was exactly 68 degrees in the postpartum recovery room. I know this because the wall thermostat was the only illuminated object I had stared at for the previous four hours while my wife finally slept. I was holding a...
My absolute meltdown over thrush in babies (and how we survived)
It was exactly 3:14 AM. I know this because the glowing green numbers on our microwave were practically burning into my retinas while I stood barefoot on the freezing kitchen tile. Maya was maybe four weeks old at the time,...
What to Pack in Hospital Bag for Baby: A Dad's Bug Report
I had one knee pressed firmly into the top of a 60-liter duffel bag in the back of our Subaru, trying to force the zipper shut while Portland rain soaked through my hoodie. My wife, currently 36 weeks pregnant, was...