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Why That Cute Infant Bedding Set is Actually a Terrible Idea
I was sweating through my maternity shirt, wrestling a thick, heavily embroidered quilt into a crib that looked like it belonged in a Victorian museum. I had just dropped way too much money on a matching ten-piece nursery package for...
The longsleeve baby survival guide from a tired triage nurse
July in Chicago is a specific kind of miserable. The window unit in our living room sounds like a dying tractor, fighting a losing battle against the humidity. My daughter is asleep on a playmat in just a diaper, looking...
Dear Past Marcus: Troubleshooting the Great Baby Mat Matrix
Row 47 of my "Baby Infrastructure" Google Sheet is where my sanity finally encountered a fatal error. It was 2:14 AM. The ambient temperature in the nursery was exactly 71.4 degrees, I had logged 11 wet diapers for the day,...
The 3 AM Panic That Turned Me Into A Baby Sleep Bag Evangelist
Itβs 3:14 AM and I'm standing perfectly still in the hallway outside my daughter's nursery, wearing a pair of my husbandβs boxer briefs and a maternity tank top that smells aggressively like sour milk. Iβm holding my phone inches from...
Buying a FuΓsack Kinderwagen Winter Neugeborene? Read This
It was mid-February, it was maybe fourteen degrees outside, and I was standing on the sidewalk in front of our local bakery crying into a lukewarm cappuccino. Leo was exactly three weeks old. I was wearing maternity leggings that had...
The Chili's Parking Lot Blowout: A Real Guide to Baby T-Shirts
I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Honda CR-V in a Chili's parking lot, staring at my four-month-old firstborn, Carter, and seriously contemplating just leaving my favorite diaper bag in the car and walking home. It was 98...
Leggings 100 Baumwolle: The Truth About Pure Cotton Pants
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the edge of the guest bathroom tub, aggressively slathering Aquaphor onto a raging red rash behind your toddler's knees. You're exhausted. You're wondering if he ate a bad strawberry or...
Why the Strickhose Baby Trend Actually Saved My Newborn's Sleep
I was standing in our drafty hallway at 3:14 AM wearing nothing but a nursing bra and a pair of my husband Danβs sweatpants that had a mysterious yogurt stain on the knee, holding a screaming three-week-old Leo who felt,...
Babyhose Mit Breitem Bund: Why Tiny Jeans Are A Terrible Idea
I'm staring at a pair of baby jeans. They have real copper rivets. A functional metal zipper. And a waistband that looks like it was designed for a heavily corseted Victorian doll, not a three-month-old who drinks liquid fat every...