How to Survive the Witching Hour Baby Meltdowns Without Losing It
My mother-in-law swore my son's evening screaming fits meant my breastmilk was literally too thin. The lactation consultant I paid two hundred dollars to see said he was cluster feeding and I just needed a better nursing pillow. A girl...
The Kelce Taylor Baby Trend and What Postpartum Really Takes
My phone was vibrating violently against the armrest while I attempted to balance a screaming two-week-old on my forearm like a very angry, leaky football. On the cracked screen were three unread messages offering wildly contradictory instructions on how to...
Why Searching I Love You Baby Lyrics Is My 3 AM Survival Hack
I was standing over my oldest son's crib at 3:14 AM wearing a stained t-shirt, swaying like a seasick sailor, and desperately trying to remember the words to literally any song on the planet. My brain was absolute mush. I...
Why I Stopped Listening to Every Tiny Nursery Sound
It was 2:14 AM and I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in Daveβs college sweatpantsβthe ones with the unidentified bleach stain on the left kneeβstaring at a glowing plastic screen like it held the secrets to the...
The Midnight Maths of Baby Fever Medicine
The iPhone torch was wedged firmly between my teeth, casting a terrifying Blair Witch underglow across the nursery while I squinted at a tiny, sticky plastic syringe. It was 3:14 AM. Twin A was screaming in a pitch that vibrated...
Why a Coughing Baby is Actually Louder Than a Hydrogen Bomb
The glowing green light on the baby monitor flickered at precisely 3:14 am, followed immediately by a sound that I can only describe as a tiny, furious seal trapped in a tin can. Then came the dreaded pause. The silence...
The Unfiltered Guide to Decoding Your Baby's Temperature Reality
Three days after bringing my son home, I was standing in the middle of my living room holding three different thermometers, staring at a baby who looked perfectly fine but felt like a baked potato. My mother-in-law was hovering over...
Writing Baby Shower Thank You Cards Without Losing Your Mind
I was exactly thirty-six weeks pregnant with my oldest, sitting dead center on the faux-wood floor of our tiny rental duplex, surrounded by seventy-five pastel blue envelopes. I was absolutely sobbing. My lower back felt like it was splitting in...
Surviving a Massive Baby Show Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I'm standing in aisle 400 of the convention center, seven months pregnant with Maya, sweating through a maternity shirt that was absolutely not designed for indoor arena temperatures, while my husband Dave is holding three different neon tote bags filled...