Magazine

Dad holding a baby girl in a cotton outfit while looking confused at a tulle skirt.

Debugging the Glitchy Physics of Baby Formalwear and Outfits

My mom told me babies need a slip under their dress so the tulle doesn't scratch. My mother-in-law said anything with a skirt is basically a sleep hazard waiting to execute a critical failure. And the barista at my favorite...

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A folded black long sleeve infant bodysuit next to a wooden pacifier clip

Why I Swear By A Black Long Sleeve Onesie For Newborns

My mother told me babies should only ever be dressed in white pointelle cotton or pale lemon yellow. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, took one look at my registry and announced that dressing an infant in dark colors would permanently...

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A natural rubber teether sitting next to a chewed-up laptop charger on a desk

Naturkautschuk Beißring: A Dad’s Guide to Teething Hardware (66 chars)

It was exactly 3:14 AM when I realized my eleven-month-old had somehow bypassed the living room baby gate and was quietly trying to soothe his terribly swollen gums on the braided power cord of my MacBook Pro. There was a...

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My youngest chewing on a maple wooden teether while sitting in her high chair.

Beißring Holz: Why I Tossed the Plastic for Wooden Teethers

I'm literally sitting on the floor of my laundry room right now, picking golden retriever hair off a neon green, gel-filled plastic teething ring that my three-year-old just excavated from the dark abyss under the living room couch. It’s sticky....

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Tired dad holding an 11 month old baby who is happily chewing on his necklace

Dear Past Marcus: You Will Wear Silicone Teething Jewelry

It’s 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and you’re standing in the kitchen watching Maya try to tape her favorite delicate gold chain back together while our five-month-old daughter looks on with zero remorse. You’re currently thinking, Wow, babies have an...

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A tired mom holding a safe one-piece silicone panda teether in her kitchen.

A Letter to Myself About Those Aesthetic Silicone Teething Toys

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting cross-legged on the gross, unfinished plywood floor of the attic. You're wearing that oversized grey college sweatshirt with the mysterious mustard stain on the left cuff, sweating profusely because it's...

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A tired dad trying to figure out the snaps on a wrap-style infant top.

Surviving the Floppy Head Phase With a Wrap-Style Baby Outfit

I'm sweating entirely through my gray t-shirt in Room 402 of Legacy Emanuel hospital. My daughter is exactly 36 hours old, and I'm holding a piece of yellow cotton with a neck hole that looks roughly the size of a...

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Soft organic cotton infant kimono set folded on a messy nursery changing table

The 3 AM Poop Blowout That Saved Me From Over-The-Head Onesies

There was poop in Leo’s ear. I don’t mean a little smudge, I mean a scientifically impossible amount of bright yellow liquid nightmare that had somehow defied gravity and traveled all the way up his back, past his neck, and...

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A messy stack of washed white newborn onesies on a nursery changing table.

The 3 AM Blowout That Made Me Respect the Newborn White Onesie

It was 3:14 AM. November. I know this because my phone flashlight was blinding me and the digital clock on the microwave was blinking in the background while I stood in the kitchen wearing a fleece Target robe from like,...

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