The Messy Reality of Children's Neckerchiefs
My mother-in-law stood in my Chicago kitchen last November holding a knitted wool scarf, insisting that if I didn't wrap my son's neck immediately, the draft would settle in his chest and give him pneumonia. Three hours later, a woman...
My kid's favorite chew toy is a blue baby tee (a survival guide)
Tuesday, 2:14 PM. It's aggressively raining in Portland, which is our baseline, but what isn't standard is the sheer volume of fluid currently exiting my 11-month-old's mouth. I'm sitting on the living room rug, watching him systematically destroy a perfectly...
The Truth About Newborn Holiday Clothes (And Velvet Disasters)
It was Thanksgiving 2017 and Maya was exactly two months old. I had spent forty-five dollars at a big box store on this tiny, stiff, maroon velvet dress with a metallic gold Peter Pan collar because I was a first-time...
The Truth About the Knitted Newborn Outfit Boy Parents Buy
When I was pregnant with my first son, Leo, my mother-in-law handed me this massive, heirloom cable-knit cardigan and said, "He must wear this home from the hospital, babies lose all their heat." The very next day, my best friend...
My Spectacular Fails Before Giving Up On Toddler Flare Jeans
It was 10:14 AM on a random Tuesday, and I was wearing faded black leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a yoga studio since Obama was in office. I was holding a lukewarm iced coffee from that local place...
How I Debugged My Baby's Wardrobe And Switched To Bundles
It's 3:14 AM. I'm holding a pair of miniature corduroy pants that possess zero stretch, trying to thread an actively thrashing 11-month-old's leg into a fabric tube the diameter of a hot dog. He is screaming. I'm sweating. My wife,...
Why I Ditched Footies for a Newborn Long Sleeve Romper
It was three in the morning in our drafty Chicago apartment, and I was holding a screaming, poop-covered infant while trying to align what felt like eighty-four tiny metal snaps on a rigid fleece footie. My fingers were trembling, my...
Why Buying Baby Christmas PJs Nearly Broke My Spirit This Year
I was sitting waist-deep in a pile of aggressively red, synthetic fleece at 11 PM on a Tuesday, completely drenched in sweat. My oldest, Wyatt, was screaming in the background, my husband was staring at me like I'd completely lost...
Decoding the Organic Baby Boy Jumpsuit: A Tired Dad's Field Notes
Dear Marcus from six months ago. Right now, you're standing over the changing table at 3:14 AM. You're sweating in the drafty Portland winter air. Leo is screaming with the exact pitch and intensity of a dial-up modem trying to...