Dear Jess: The Honest Truth About The Baby Milo Confusion
Dear Jess from six months ago, I know you're sitting on the porch right now, sweating through a t-shirt in this ridiculous Texas humidity, staring at your phone while the toddler tries to feed gravel to the dog. You're exhausted....
What No One Tells You About Feeding Your Kid Lamb
I was sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor at two in the morning, furiously googling the internal temperature of a braised shank. My kitchen smelled like a Greek diner, and my six-month-old was asleep upstairs, blissfully unaware that I was...
Why I Stopped Debugging My Baby's Percentile Data
The crinkly paper on the exam table was already shredded by the time Dr. Evans walked in with her tablet. Baby G, completely naked except for a very heavy diaper, was violently executing a series of bicycle kicks against my...
Tommy Richman, 3AM Teething, and the Death of My Dignity
It was 3:14 on a Tuesday morning, a time that doesn't actually exist outside of the newborn bubble or the queue for a dreadful kebab in your early twenties. I was standing in the kitchen in a pair of stained...
At What Age Do Babies Crawl? The Honest Southern Mom Truth
I was standing in the church foyer last Sunday holding my youngest, who's currently built like a beautiful, squishy sack of flour, when three different women decided to give me unsolicited updates on their own grandchildren's mobility. Ms. Betty told...
The Honest Truth About When Do Babies Laugh (And Why I Stopped Trying)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the middle of the nursery wearing a milk-stained nursing bra and sweatpants I hadn’t washed in a week, making aggressive, high-pitched monkey noises at my three-week-old son, Leo....
Surviving The Sleep Sack Baby Phase Without Losing Your Mind
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday, because time doesn't actually exist when you've a newborn. I was wearing a faded sorority t-shirt from 2008 that had a mysterious, crusty spit-up stain on the shoulder, and I...
Debugging The Complete System Failure Of Dressing A Baby Boy
I'm currently staring at a pair of dark wash, rigid denim jeans in size 9-12 months. My son is actively executing a perfect alligator death roll on the changing pad, and I'm supposed to somehow force his chaotic, rapidly expanding...
A Letter To Myself About Raising My Down Syndrome Baby And Her Twin
Dear Tom from six months ago, put down the NHS developmental milestone leaflet before you give yourself a stress-induced ulcer. You're currently sitting on the beige nursery rug, mainlining cold coffee, watching Millie try to scale the bookshelf while Daisy...