"A Dingo Ate My Baby": How A 90s Joke Became My Parenting Nightmare
The digital clock on the nursery wall reads 2:14 AM. The temperature monitor is holding steady at exactly 68.4 degrees. My 11-month-old son is currently using my left collarbone as a mattress, drooling a small puddle of milk onto my...
Does Ginny Keep the Baby? What Netflix Got Right About Parenting
Iβm standing here at the kitchen island, elbow-deep in a basket of aggressively stained toddler pants, half-watching Netflix on my iPad, when my oldest comes waltzing in covered in what I pray is chocolate. Let me tell you what NOT...
Why Dutch Baby Pancakes Actually Saved My Sanity on a Tuesday
It was 5:43 AM and I was wearing a pair of maternity leggings that I definitely should have retired in 2019. There was a weird crusty spot on the left knee that was either dried oatmeal or... actually, I don't...
The Unfiltered Guide to Decoding Your Baby's Temperature Reality
Three days after bringing my son home, I was standing in the middle of my living room holding three different thermometers, staring at a baby who looked perfectly fine but felt like a baked potato. My mother-in-law was hovering over...
The Messy, Exhausting Truth About Getting Your Baby to Sleep
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting frozen on the floor of the nursery, holding my breath because my knee had just popped. I knew if my oldest son, Leo, heard that tiny joint crack and...
Writing Baby Shower Thank You Cards Without Losing Your Mind
I was exactly thirty-six weeks pregnant with my oldest, sitting dead center on the faux-wood floor of our tiny rental duplex, surrounded by seventy-five pastel blue envelopes. I was absolutely sobbing. My lower back felt like it was splitting in...
Surviving a Massive Baby Show Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I'm standing in aisle 400 of the convention center, seven months pregnant with Maya, sweating through a maternity shirt that was absolutely not designed for indoor arena temperatures, while my husband Dave is holding three different neon tote bags filled...
Why the baby shark video is actually neurological genius
We're stuck in gridlock on Lake Shore Drive. The smell of three-day-old formula is radiating from somewhere under the passenger seat. In the back, my daughter has initiated the kind of breath-holding, red-faced scream that usually requires a medical intervention....
The Reality of Baby Reflux: Surviving the Spit-Up Years
It was 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting in my grandmother's old floral rocking chair, completely drenched in what I can only describe as sour Parmesan cheese. My oldest son, Jacksonβbless his heart, he's my cautionary tale...