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Dear Past Sarah: What I Wish I Knew About The Entire Bear Phase
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold, slightly sticky linoleum of the downstairs bathroom, hiding from your own family. Itβs, like, 9 AM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing those gray sweatpants with the...
Dear Past Me: The Truth About Aquaphor Baby and Drool Rashes
You're standing in aisle fourteen of the Target on Roosevelt Road, holding a tub of regular healing ointment in your left hand and the infant version in your right. It's two in the morning. Your daughter is at home with...
To Past Me: Losing Sleep Over That 7 Month Old Baby Kidnapped Update
You're sitting in the rocker right now, the wood creaking on that one lopsided floorboard in the nursery, clutching a cold cup of coffee from yesterday while the baby finally sleeps on your chest. The glowing screen of your phone...
The reality of a six month old baby and the sweet potato incident
I fed my son his first sweet potato puree while wearing a cream cashmere sweater. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was letting him hold the spoon. Within three seconds, he sneezed, and my kitchen looked like a...
Surviving The Sleep Sack Baby Phase Without Losing Your Mind
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday, because time doesn't actually exist when you've a newborn. I was wearing a faded sorority t-shirt from 2008 that had a mysterious, crusty spit-up stain on the shoulder, and I...
Debugging The Complete System Failure Of Dressing A Baby Boy
I'm currently staring at a pair of dark wash, rigid denim jeans in size 9-12 months. My son is actively executing a perfect alligator death roll on the changing pad, and I'm supposed to somehow force his chaotic, rapidly expanding...
The Brutal Truth About Frida Baby Gadgets from a Mom of Three
The biggest myth about bringing a newborn home isn't about the sleep deprivationβit's this weird internet lie that you're going to maintain your dignity while dealing with bodily fluids. Instagram shows you these beige, spotless nurseries where some glowing mother...
Cincinnati Zoo Gladys Gorilla Baby Birth & Postpartum Chaos
It was 3:14 in the morning, I had a streak of questionable yellow spit-up drying on my left shoulder, and my oldest was throwing an absolute fit in the next room because his favorite dinosaur sock fell off in his...
Bringing Babys Home: Surviving The First Year Without Losing It
The digital clock on the microwave read 3:14 AM, and I was sitting cross-legged on the cold bathroom tile, desperately trying to steam the congestion out of my oldest son, Jackson. He was screaming like I was personally torturing him,...