Baby Brent Newborn Myths: The Truth About Surviving the First Year
I was on FaceTime yesterday with my sister-in-law, balancing my phone on a teetering stack of half-folded laundry while my middle child tried to feed the dog a stale Cheerio, and she was crying. Real, heavy, shoulder-shaking tears. She just...
The Honest Truth About Postpartum Baby Botox For Mothers
It was ninety-eight degrees in the Target parking lot, my three-year-old was actively trying to liberate himself from his five-point harness using a rogue pretzel stick, and the baby was screaming a pitch that I'm fairly certain violated several local...
The Truth About Cradles and That Scalp Crust Nobody Mentions
The smell of lemon wood polish hit me the second I walked into our Chicago apartment with a three-day-old infant in my arms. Sitting right in the middle of our cramped living room was a massive, dark wood antique baby...
A Letter To Myself About The Chaos Of The Baby Crawling Phase
It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday. I'm wearing black yoga pants that haven't seen the inside of a gym since 2018, and a gray t-shirt stained with breastmilk and what I'm desperately hoping is just mashed sweet potato. I'm nursing...
The 3 AM hostage negotiation and the baby daisy aesthetic
The digital clock on the dresser said 3:14 AM. The wind coming off Lake Michigan was rattling the bedroom window, but that wasn't what woke me. It was the distinct, unmistakable sound of a bodily fluid breaching containment. I stood...
The Real Baby Definition: Throwing Out The Dictionary Right Now
I was sitting on the floor of my bathroom at 2:14 AM wearing a deeply stained gray nursing bra and exactly one sock, aggressively typing "baby definition" into my phone with my left thumb while Maya, who was exactly five...
Why My Designer Tote Almost Ruined My Spine (And What I Pack Now)
It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I'm sitting in the front seat of my Honda CR-V in a Target parking lot, sobbing into a half-eaten sleeve of stale graham crackers. Maya is three months old. I'm wearing...
The Ultimate Survival Guide For Your First Baby Driver Car Experience
The asphalt in the hospital parking lot was basically melting my flip-flops, and I was sitting in a wheelchair sobbing while my husband wrestled with a massive hunk of grey plastic. It was July in rural Texas. Jackson, our firstborn,...
The Medical Illusion of Your Scheduled Baby Arrival Timeline
I was sitting at the pediatric triage desk with a lukewarm chai in a foam cup when a woman waddled in, practically vibrating with panic. She was holding a crumpled ultrasound printout and crying because she was forty weeks and...