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Reality Check: What Love Is Blind's Megan Got Right About Postpartum
"Sleep when the infant sleeps," my grandmother told me at my baby shower, sipping her sweet tea. "Hire a postpartum doula for fifty dollars an hour to do your laundry," said a girl I went to college with who now...
Surviving That Marry Me Let's Have A Baby Hentai Search Fail
When Dave and I were first throwing around the idea of expanding our family, the unsolicited advice started raining down like confetti at a toddler's birthday party. My mother-in-law cornered me by the dip at Thanksgiving and actually whispered into...
Survival Guide for the Man Who Might Be Installing a Baby Gate
My dad told me to just let the kid tumble down the bottom two steps to teach him basic physics. The guy in the orange apron at the hardware store tried to up-sell me a three-hundred-dollar industrial lock system that...
Surviving The Man Dog Baby Triangle: A New Dad's Guide To Chaos
Pixel's nose is shoved so far under the bathroom door he's practically snorting the bathmat, while eleven-month-old Leo is in the tub trying to eat a soapy washcloth. I'm currently typing this one-handed on my phone, damp from a recent...
Dear past me: The windi baby butt whistle saved my sanity
Dear past me from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold concrete floor of the garage on a random Tuesday afternoon. You're surrounded by three cardboard boxes aggressively labeled "DONATE" in black Sharpie, and you're holding a...
When is a baby no longer a newborn? The great potato awakening
I spent my first month as a father obsessively checking an app on my phone that promised to tell me precisely when the dreaded neonate phase would end. Don't do this. Don't set a calendar alert for four weeks post-delivery...
Wait What Whiskey Is Balcones Baby Blue Doing In The Nursery
I was sitting on my living room floor surrounded by crumpled pastel tissue paper and half-opened gift bags from my baby shower. My mother-in-law was perched on the sofa keeping a literal ledger of who bought what so the thank-you...
How the xiaoxia-baby webcam recorded my worst parenting moment
My mother-in-law firmly believes that baby monitors emit a mysterious frequency that turns infants into sleeper agents. My mate Dave, who treats fatherhood like a tactical military operation in hostile territory, insisted I needed a Β£300 dual-band Wi-Fi camera with...
Debugging The Baby Don't Be Bald Panic At Two In The Morning
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday when I found myself hovering over the crib, shining my iPhone flashlight directly onto the back of my 11-month-old son's head. I was trying to measure the exact radius of the bald spot...