The Great Baby Bell Confusion: Cheese, Fungi, and Internet Weirdness
"Give them a baby bell," my mother-in-law announced on Tuesday over a cup of lukewarm tea, brandishing a little red wax wheel like it was a holy relic that would magically cure their fussiness. "Brilliant for calcium." On Wednesday, the...
Why Your Baby Needs Arugula (And How to Serve It Without Tears)
I was standing in my kitchen staring at a green-splattered cabinet while my mother-in-law clutched her coffee mug like a shield. I had just scraped a dollop of bright green puree onto my six-month-old's tray, and she looked at me...
My Messy, Caffeinated Guide to Decoding Infant Nutrition
It was November 2017 and I was wearing my husband Markβs oversized college sweatpantsβthe ones with the bleach stain on the left thigh that he refuses to throw awayβsitting completely paralyzed on our cold kitchen linoleum at 3:15 AM while...
Air Fryer Baby Potatoes: The Ultimate Dad's Guide to Solids
Dear Marcus from six months ago. You're currently staring at a mesh bag of organic tubers on the kitchen island, sweating right through your gray t-shirt. Your wife just casually mentioned we need to start Baby-Led Weaning next week, and...
Creating A Salt-Free Dry Rub For Baby Back Ribs To Feed My Baby
It was 2:14 PM on a sweltering Sunday in late August, and I was sitting on that one patio chair that always mysteriously pinches the back of my left thigh. I was drinking my third iced coffee of the day...
The Messy Truth About HiPP And Why I Smuggled European Milk
When Leo was about four months old, it was 3:14 AM and I was standing in my kitchen wearing a college t-shirt that smelled aggressively like sour milk and maternal desperation. My husband Greg was making his third pour-over coffee...
Raising Butcher Babies: The No-Nonsense Guide to Real Meat
There was a solid smear of greyish-brown turkey paste on my kitchen ceiling, and I was sitting on the floor crying next to a half-empty jar of baby food that smelled exactly like the wet food I buy for the...
The Truth About Turkey Babies: Surviving The Meat Puree Stage
My mother-in-law cornered me by the kettle last Tuesday, brandishing a whisk, to announce that giving a six-month-old anything but pureed carrots would shatter their digestive tract into a million pieces. My health visitorβa woman who speaks exclusively in NHS...
Why Barbecue Sauce is a Toddler Nightmare (And What to Do Instead)
It's 2:00 PM on the Fourth of July, it's ninety-eight degrees in the shade, and I'm sweating through a grey maternity tank top that I should have thrown away three years ago. Leo is fourteen months old and his face...