How to Take Good Newborn Photos Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was sweating through my third nursing tank of the day, teetering on a dining room chair with my iPhone hovering over my oldest son, Leo, who was currently screaming his head off in a hand-knitted Yoda costume my mom...
Dear Past Me: What I Wish I Knew Before Naming Our Baby Akira
Dear Jess from six months agoβput down your sweet tea, close the Pinterest tab where you're looking at custom nursery signs, and for the love of everything holy, delete that hashtag draft from your Instagram. You're sitting there on the...
The Truth About Infant Photos: From Contrast Cards to AI Scraping
The phone on my nightstand vibrates at 4:12 in the morning. The screen lights up the dark room with another WhatsApp message from my mom, reading simply, "send more babi images." She always mistypes baby as babi, mostly because her...
The 50 Cent Baby Momma Drama Broke My Brain at 3 AM
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my eleven-month-old was emitting a continuous, low-frequency hum that sounded exactly like a failing server fan. I was sitting on the floor of his nursery in the Portland rain, staring at the...
What to Do When Your Toddler Learns 'She Gon Call Me Baby Booter'
When my two-year-old twin girls started doing a weird, jerky zombie shuffle around the kitchen island chanting a garbled phrase, I asked three different people for advice on what to do. My mother, over a lukewarm cup of tea, told...
The kriss_baby_ Webcam Hack: Unplugging Our Nursery Wi-Fi Camera
I was standing in Leoβs nursery at 2:14 AM wearing a pair of Dave's stretched-out boxer briefs and a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and utter desperation, holding a chunk of painted drywall in my left hand....
The Viral Rapper Baby Drama That Ruined My Instagram Archive
It was 3:14 in the morning, and Twin A was asleep face-down on my larynx. I was trapped in that uniquely parental state of paralysis where your arm has gone entirely numb, your bladder is screaming for mercy, but you...
My toddler found baby mario and my screen time rules evaporated
The console was just sitting there on the coffee table, a glowing rectangle of temptation my husband forgot to dock the night before. It was 6:15 in the morning. I was in the kitchen trying to make coffee with one...
A Letter to Myself About That Viral Celebrity Baby Drama
3:14 AM. The baby is doing that rhythmic, glitchy half-cry that usually precedes a full system meltdown, and instead of checking the thermostatβwhich I've strictly calibrated to 68.5 degreesβor logging his last feeding into the overly complex Notion database I...