Surviving the 9-Month Sleep Regression and Absolute Chaos
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the dark wearing a pair of maternity leggings I should have burned six months ago and my husband Dave's faded college hoodie, staring at Maya. She was gripping...
Decoding the 3 AM Baby Grunting Sounds Without Losing Your Mind
I'm standing barefoot on the cold Portland hardwood at 3:14 AM, holding my phone flashlight at a weird angle so I don't accidentally blind my daughter, just waiting for her to make the noise again. Don't do this. Seriously, whatever...
Why My 2 AM Fleece Disaster Sparked a Bamboo Clothing Obsession
It was 3:14 AM. I know this because the glowing red numbers of our cheap digital clock were literally burning into my retinas while I paced the hallway holding a thrashing, screaming six-month-old Leo. I was wearing Dave's old college...
Why I Finally Caved And Bought Those Expensive Bamboo Baby Pajamas
βPut him in heavy fleece so he doesn't freeze to death,β my mother-in-law announced, holding up a neon green synthetic onesie that felt roughly like the carpet in a cheap casino. It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. I was...
The 3 AM Pajama Panic (And How I Finally Figured Out Baby Sleepwear)
It was 2:14 AM and the red numbers on my alarm clock were basically mocking me while I stood in the middle of our drafty farmhouse nursery trying not to have a complete meltdown. My oldest son was four weeks...
Dear Past Jess: Surviving The Great Baby Saja Demon Incident
Dear Jess of six months ago: Right now, you're standing in the hallway at 2:43 AM holding a shrieking three-year-old who's absolutely convinced the walls are bleeding. Your oldest is asleep in the next room, snoring peacefully, completely unaware that...
Debugging 3 AM Meltdowns With The Happiest Baby On The Block
Here's exactly what you shouldn't do when your system goes down at three in the morning: try to read the manual by the light of a camping headlamp while bouncing on an exercise ball and holding a screaming infant like...
The Hatch Baby Delusion: Why Smart Sound Machines Won't Save You
It's exactly 3:14 AM, and I'm standing motionless in the hallway outside my daughters' bedroom, holding my breath so tightly my vision is starting to blur. Page 47 of the best-selling parenting manual we panic-bought during the third trimester suggested...
What an elon musk baby mama taught me about dad anxiety
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my 11-month-old son was doing this weird, rhythmic dolphin-screech breathing in my arms. Every time I tried to transfer him to the crib, his internal gyroscope detected the change in altitude and...