Exactly What to Write on Baby Shower Card Without Stressing
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of the F-150 outside the Methodist church fellowship hall, sweating clean through your only halfway decent maternity-friendly dress. The baby shower starts in exactly four minutes. You...
Winnie the Pooh Baby Shower Invitations & The Great Gifting Trap
Iβm standing in the loft, waist-deep in cardboard boxes smelling faintly of damp and nostalgia, holding the very piece of card that started it all. Itβs a muted sage green square featuring a rather tubby pencil-sketched bear and a honey...
Why OPI Baby Take A Vow Is The Only Polish Surviving My Chaos
I was 38 weeks pregnant with my oldest, sitting on the cold tile of my bathroom floor because reaching my toes was a logistical impossibility, attempting to paint my fingernails a color called something ridiculous like "Neon Midnight." It was...
How We Debugged Baby Girl Shower Themes Without Pink Glitter
I was holding a plastic tiara that smelled strongly of volatile organic compounds, staring down an aisle that looked like a flamingo had spontaneously combusted. My wife was twenty-nine weeks pregnant with our first baby, currently asleep in the passenger...
The Algorithm for a Delayed Shower That Doesn't Suck
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting at the kitchen island, staring at a Google Sheet titled Party_Logistics_V3.xlsx, while our five-month-old daughter aggressively chews on a silicone spatula. Since we moved to Portland at 38 weeks pregnant,...
Stop Writing Terrifying Advice In Your Baby Shower Cards
Picture this. You're trapped on a velvet armchair in a room that smells aggressively of buttercream and eucalyptus. Twenty women, ranging from your childhood best friend to your partnerβs distant aunt, are staring at you. You're sweating through your maternity...
Writing Honest Baby Shower Greetings When Your Mind is Blank
Dear Jess from six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. You're sitting in the sweltering driver's seat of your Honda Odyssey in the Target parking lot, the air conditioner blasting directly into your face while you try...
Surviving the Dress Code: A Messy Guide to Baby Shower Guest Outfits
When my cousin got pregnant last spring, I texted three different people asking what the hell I was supposed to wear to her backyard celebration, and the responses were honestly useless. My mother-in-law told me I needed a pastel sheath...
The absolute chaos of deploying a modern baby shower invite
I'm staring at a Google Sheet with 64 rows of mailing addresses, and my brain is completely buffering. My wife, Sarah, is sitting next to me on the couch, asking if we should upgrade to the 120-pound matte cardstock or...