Surviving Twins: Why We Chose Baby Snoopy Over The Baby Snoo
I was standing in a damp Oxfam shop on Mare Street, aggressively wiping a half-masticated rice cake off my coat lapel, when I locked eyes with him. It was a slightly faded, ridiculously soft plush beagle from 1996. One of...
The 50 Cent Baby Momma Drama Broke My Brain at 3 AM
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my eleven-month-old was emitting a continuous, low-frequency hum that sounded exactly like a failing server fan. I was sitting on the floor of his nursery in the Portland rain, staring at the...
1000 Babies Review: Surviving The First Thousand Days of Chaos
I'm currently watching my four-year-oldβthe child I swear is my living, breathing cautionary tale for what happens when you read too many parenting blogsβtry to lasso our basset hound with a phone charger. Meanwhile, my youngest is mashing an unidentified...
My Late Night Freakout Over Purple Lacy Skin and What I Know Now
It was October 2017, and my daughter Maya was exactly eleven days old. I remember this specifically because I was wearing an oversized grey nursing tank that I hadn't washed since we left the hospital, and I had a half-empty...
My Very Messy Experience With MegaFood Supplements For Mom And Baby
It was a random Tuesday in November, roughly 7:14 AM, and I was standing in my horribly lit downstairs guest bathroom wearing exactly one sock and a wildly oversized promotional t-shirt with a mustard stain on the hem. I was...
Finding The Normal Baby Temperature Armpit Range Without Losing It
I was sitting on the cold tile of my bathroom floor at 2:14 in the morning with a lukewarm cup of yesterday's coffee on the counter, holding a four-month-old Maya who felt exactly like a baked potato fresh out of...
Finding the Normal Temperature for Baby Without Losing Your Mind
I was sitting on the edge of the nursery glider at 2:14 in the morning, staring at the glowing red screen of a plastic forehead scanner, completely convinced my firstborn was boiling from the inside out. He felt like a...
Real Advice on How to Stop Baby Hiccups Without Losing Your Mind
"Put a wet piece of thread on his forehead," my mother-in-law instructed over FaceTime, holding her phone entirely too close to her face. My neighbor, who means well but reads too many mommy blogs, told me later that afternoon to...
Getting rid of oral thrush without losing your mind
It's three in the morning in Chicago. You're holding your phone flashlight in your mouth, trying to pry your screaming infant's lips apart in the dark. You see a thick white coating all over their tongue. You immediately assume the...