What the baby icon method actually looks like at 3 AM
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in late November. The wind was howling off Lake Michigan, rattling the thin windows of our Chicago apartment, but I could barely hear it over the sound of my six-week-old son screaming. He...
The Truth About The Rakai Glitch Trend And Toddler Screen Time
I was wrist-deep in pureed carrots when my group chat of first-time moms started vibrating off the kitchen counter. Someone had seen a TikTok video about a glitching kid and was actively spiraling into a panic. They thought it was...
The Newborn Survival Guide For When You're Running On Empty
Iβm standing in the hallway at 3:14 AM, bouncing on my heels until my calves burn, holding my oldest son who's screaming like Iβve personally offended his ancestors. I keep whispering, "baby come to me, just come here, let me...
Surviving the Baby Porcupine Phase (A Letter to My Past Self)
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold tile of the downstairs bathroom. Itβs 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, youβre wearing those tragic gray sweatpants with the bleach stain on the left thigh, and you're hiding...
The Viral Baby Rasta Drama & The Truth About Public Meltdowns
I was standing in aisle four of our local H-E-B last Tuesday, balancing a jumbo pack of overnight diapers on my left hip while my two-year-old practically levitated out of the shopping cart, screaming at a pitch only dogs and...
The Desperate Midnight Baby Boo Dance That Saved My Sanity
The linoleum of my kitchen floor is particularly hostile at 3:42 AM, a fact I was contemplating while aggressively swaying left-to-right with a screaming twin strapped to my chest. My shirt was damp with something I desperately hoped was only...
Baby Alien Erome: Surviving The Extraterrestrial Phase
The most insidious lie peddled to expectant parents isn't that you'll eventually sleep again, or that you'll somehow maintain your pre-baby social life (you won't, and honestly, staying in is cheaper anyway). The biggest myth is that newborns arrive looking...
How To Survive An Angry Baby When You Are Losing Your Mind
My mother-in-law told me I was holding him too much and he was already "manipulating" me at four months old, which, like, how? My favorite Facebook mom group told me his root chakra was blocked and I needed to rub...
Why The Baby Thinking Meme Is Actually Real Life In Our House
It's 3:14 AM on a particularly damp Tuesday in London, and I'm currently locked in a psychological standoff with a 14-pound dictator. The house is completely silent, save for the distant hum of a night bus and the sound of...