Magazine
The Truth About When Your Baby Will Actually Start Talking
It was late 2018, and I was sitting cross-legged on a primary-colored foam puzzle mat in a community center basement that smelled faintly of bleached diapers and absolute despair. I was wearing yoga pants that had definitely never seen the...
So, What Is a Nepo Baby? A Parent's Guide to Everyday Privilege
It was 8:15 AM on a Saturday, pouring rain, and I was standing on the sidelines of Mayaβs under-8 soccer tryouts in my embarrassingly pill-y 2018 black Target leggings. You know, the ones that have a weird bleach stain shaped...
What On Earth Is A Skilla Baby? Sorting Out Real Milestone Myths
Three different people gave me completely contradictory advice about raising a baby in the exact same twenty-four-hour period after I brought my oldest son, Leo, home from the hospital seven years ago. My mother-in-law, standing in my cramped kitchen wearing...
Why Those Vintage Pretty Little Baby Lyrics Actually Work
It's currently 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, I've exactly three minutes to move laundry from the washer to the dryer before my youngest wakes up from her nap, and my oldest is somewhere in the living room pressing a button...
The Great Gerber Baby Myth and The Reality of Infant Parenting
I'm currently staring at a smear of what I think is pureed sweet potato on my kitchen ceiling. I don't know how it got up there. My son is eleven months old, sits exactly thirty-two inches below that spot in...
Surviving the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps With Three Under Five
I was sitting on the nursery floor at 2:14 AM with my oldest, staring at a $400 emergency room bill for what turned out to be entirely normal teething pain, when I realized we were financially drowning. He was screaming,...
Surviving the 6pm Meltdown: A Very Tired Dad's Guide to Colic
The absolute worst thing you can do at 6:13 PM on a Tuesday, when your infant begins their nightly impersonation of a faulty car alarm, is to load up YouTube on your phone, prop it against a cold cup of...
The Great Registry Meltdown and the Weird Return of Buybuy Baby
I was twenty-four weeks pregnant, sitting in the sweltering heat of my Ford F-150 outside a suburban strip mall, ugly crying into a half-eaten sleeve of saltines. It was July in Texas, my ankles had officially merged with my calves,...
Why that classic seated baby walker is actually a terrible idea
Last Diwali, my mother-in-law cornered me near the samosas with a brightly colored plastic catalog she had acquired from god knows where. She flipped to a dog-eared page and pointed to a massive plastic saucer surrounded by wheels and covered...