Why bringing a baby tortoise into a toddler home is a terrible idea
It's 2:14 AM and I'm standing in my living room using a digital meat thermometer to measure the ambient soil temperature of a wooden box. Inside this box is a creature roughly the size of a rich tea biscuit that...
The Ultimate Real-Life Baby Steps Trophy Guide for Parents
I was elbow-deep in shipping labels for my Etsy shop, desperately trying to get twelve custom nursery signs out the door before the post office closed, when I heard it. The distinct, terrifying sound of a twenty-pound human achieving bipedal...
How I survived the Π΄Π΅ΡΡΠΊΠΈ ΠΌΠ°ΡΠΈΠ½ΠΊΠΈ invasion in our living room
The exact moment I realized my living room had been permanently rezoned for industrial use was at 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. I was walking barefoot to the kitchen to fix a bottle, half asleep, when my heel came down...
Escaping Sausage Casings: short sleeve pajamas toddler edition
It's 7:14 PM on a damp Tuesday, and I'm currently employing a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu move I saw on YouTube just to get my two-year-old's arm into a pajama top. Elsie is howling indignantly; her twin sister Maya is standing on...
The chaotic truth about finding vetement pour garcon that lasts
It's 8:14 AM and I'm currently staring at a photo on my phone from exactly six months ago. Leo, my seven-year-old, is wearing these mustard yellow corduroys that I spent way too much money on. In the photo, they're pristine....
The Absolute Messy Truth About Buying Toddler Short Pajamas
It was somewhere around 2:14 in the morning in the dead center of July, and our Texas air conditioner was loudly fighting a losing battle against the humidity. I was standing in the dark, wrestling a damp, fleece zip-up footie...
Spielsachen 4 Jahre: The Truth About Toys For Four-Year-Olds
The most successful grift in the modern parenting industrial complex is the word "educational" slapped on a box containing a plastic, seizure-inducing nightmare. You know the exact toy I'm talking about. Itβs usually shaped like a dog or a heavily...
Skianzug Kinder Jungen: Warum wir drei kauften, bis einer passte
Ich saΓ auf dem eisigen Fliesenboden dieser extrem nach feuchtem Hund und ranzigem Pommesfett riechenden SkihΓΌtten-Toilette in Laax, balancierte meinen lauwarmen Hafermilch-Cappuccino auf dem Rand des Waschbeckens und versuchte verzweifelt, meinem Sohn Leo (der damals 3 war und heute 4...
The Absolute Nightmare of Buying Toddler Khaki Shorts
I was sweating through three layers of sage green bridesmaid tulle in a 104-degree Texas July, standing inside a rented porta-potty that smelled exactly as bad as you're imagining, frantically trying to unfasten a button the size of a baby...