My worst newborn day and how a baby carrier wrap saved my sanity
It was 4:13 PM on a Tuesday in late November, and I was wearing maternity leggings with an unidentified, crusty white stain on the left thigh. Leo was four weeks old and currently doing that purple-faced, breathless scream that makes...
The Exhausting Truth About Buying Baby Wipes in the Modern Age
It's 3:14 in the morning, the room smells vaguely of sour milk and despair, and I'm furiously yanking at a packet of supermarket wet cloths that have decided to chain themselves together like a magician's endless handkerchief. I only need...
The Buc-ee's pants disaster and why I only buy leggings baumwolle bio
I'm standing in the blindingly bright, pristine bathroom of a Buc-eeβs somewhere off Interstate 35, and my eighteen-month-old son is screaming like Iβm trying to exorcise a demon from his body. Itβs August in Texas, which means the air outside...
Natural Rubber Teethers: The Mistakes I Made Early On
Three in the morning is a bad time to evaluate your parenting choices. The radiator in our Chicago apartment was hissing, my toddler was trying to gnaw his own fist off, and I was frantically digging through the freezer. I...
Why Freezing Your Natural Rubber Teether Is a Terrible Idea
I was standing in my kitchen at 2:14 AM wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and nursing pads, violently chipping ice off a rubber ring with a butter knife. My oldest son, Leo, was in the background doing that high-pitched,...
Dear Past Marcus: You Will Wear Silicone Teething Jewelry
Itβs 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and youβre standing in the kitchen watching Maya try to tape her favorite delicate gold chain back together while our five-month-old daughter looks on with zero remorse. Youβre currently thinking, Wow, babies have an...
The truth about tree sap teethers and your baby's weird fevers
I was staring at a thermometer flashing 102.4 in red, convinced my daughter's bottom lateral incisor was trying to kill her. My mother-in-law had already called twice to tell me it was just teething and I should rub a little...
Dear Marcus: Stop Buying Loud Plastic Toys and Read This
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago, It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're standing in the dark hallway of your Portland bungalow, clutching a lukewarm bottle of formula, staring at a flashing plastic boombox toy that's aggressively singing "I'M...
The Massive Infant Merino Lie That Cost Me Months of Sleep
It's precisely 3:14 am, and I'm standing in a dimly lit nursery holding what feels like a highly agitated, damp jacket potato. Maya, the twin who's currently screaming directly into my left ear canal, is wearing a polyester fleece sleep...