Surviving The Slippery Newborn Phase With A Mesh Seat
My knees were cracking against the cold hexagonal tile of our vintage Chicago apartment bathroom while I gripped a screaming, six-pound human who felt exactly like a wet football covered in olive oil. The tap was running. Steam was fogging...
Surviving a Taylor Swift Stadium Concert With a Baby in Tow
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold linoleum floor of the laundry room at 2 AM, hiding from your snoring husband, staring at three wildly expensive stadium tickets on your phone. You're hyperventilating because your...
Raising an AI baby: The 3 AM reality of smart nursery tech
I'm sitting on the edge of the nursery glider at 3:14 AM, toggling between an oxygen saturation graph and an algorithmic sleep predictor while my actual, physical child is currently gnawing on his crib rail. My phone screen is glowing...
The 3 AM rabbit hole of the Abby and Brittany Hensel baby rumors
The digital clock on the microwave said 3:14 AM. My toddler was currently executing a perfect structural collapse on the kitchen floor because his lower left molar was crowning. Getting a teething baby back to sleep is basically like triaging...
How To Keep A Baby Alive: Sleep, Teeth, And The Absolute Chaos
It was exactly 3:14 AM, and I was standing in the middle of Leoβs nursery wearing a nursing bra that smelled distinctively of sour milk and Daveβs gray college sweatpants. I was sobbing quietly because I couldn't, for the absolute...
The Double Panic of Baby Sitting Milestones and Caregivers
I was standing in the Target checkout line holding a massive iced coffeeβthe kind that's mostly whole milk and regret, honestlyβwhen my mother-in-law texted me out of nowhere. She said I absolutely needed to prop four-month-old Leo up with couch...
The Messy, Honest Truth About Baby Sleep Training Before & After
It's exactly 3:14 in the morning. I know this because the glowing red numbers on the microwave are burning into my retinas while I stand in the kitchen, wearing my husband Dave's oversized college track shirt that smells vaguely of...
What a Freezing Park Day Taught Me About Parenting Like a Wild Cat
It was 14 degrees in late January. Maya was maybe four months old, strapped to my chest in one of those trendy animal-print carriers that I paid way too much for because Instagram told me to. I had three layers...
Surviving the Second Baby: Real Talk on the Two Under Two Chaos
I was sitting on the cold tile edge of our bathtub, leaking breastmilk through my only semi-clean t-shirt, while my 18-month-old methodically unrolled three entire rolls of toilet paper directly into the sink. I couldn't stop him because I was...