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early developmentfatherhoodhumoroutdoorparenting tips
Confused dad looking at a fledgling bird in the grass while holding a baby

What to Do When Your Toddler Finds a Baby Bird in the Backyard

I'm currently crouched in the damp Portland mud, holding my 11-month-old by the back of his diaper like a defective briefcase, while we both stare at a violently vibrating clump of feathers in the grass. It looks like a moldy...

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A tired father inspecting a baby cot mattress with a flashlight.

What Finding Baby Bed Bugs at 3 AM Actually Does to a Parent

The glow of my phone screen at 3:14 AM illuminated what I can only describe as a tiny, malevolent sesame seed crawling across Maya's fitted sheet. I had only come into the nursery because she had done that specific, high-pitched...

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A dad trying to put a long sleeve organic cotton romper on a squirming baby boy

Debugging The Complete System Failure Of Dressing A Baby Boy

I'm currently staring at a pair of dark wash, rigid denim jeans in size 9-12 months. My son is actively executing a perfect alligator death roll on the changing pad, and I'm supposed to somehow force his chaotic, rapidly expanding...

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Why the happy baby pose saved my structurally ruined spine

When my lower back finally gave out, I received three distinct pieces of advice from three very different people. My mother-in-law told me I needed to sleep on a plank of pine wood because that’s what her uncle did in...

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90s nostalgiaBabybaby safetyfatherhoodhumorParenting Guide
A terrified dad clutching a coffee mug while watching a toddler attempt to climb a bookshelf.

Rewatching The 1994 Film Babys Day Out Broke My Parent Brain

I'm pausing the TV at exactly the 24-minute mark to go check the tensile strength of our front door's deadbolt. My wife is staring at the ceiling from the couch, audibly wondering why I can't just enjoy a movie like...

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bambi baby store inspired deer pattern organic blanket

The Bambi Baby Store Standard: Surviving the Gear Shopping Madness

"Sleep when the baby sleeps," my mother confidently announced over a lukewarm cup of tea, completely ignoring the fact that there were two babies and they were heavily invested in sleeping in opposing four-hour shifts. "You absolutely must keep them...

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Tom staring at a glowing phone screen in a dark nursery while twin babies sleep in the background

That 3AM Panic Search: How To Tell If The Babys All Right Now

The glow of my phone screen was the only light in the nursery, illuminating the half-eaten Hobnob I had abandoned on the nursing chair. It was 3:14 AM. Twin A (who we had quietly designated the Loud One) was making...

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Tom checking his phone for news about the Erika Kirk pregnancy rumours while holding a baby toy.

Is Erika Kirk Expecting a Baby? The AI Rumours I Totally Believed

I was attempting to chisel a cement-like layer of yesterday's Weetabix off the highchair tray at 6:14 AM when the notification slid across my phone screen. Twin A was systematically dismantling the dog's bed, and Twin B was crying because...

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A very tired dad staring blankly at a wall of infant milk cans in a grocery store aisle.

The Great Formula Panics: What I Learned About Feeding My Kid

It was 4:12 AM, I was holding a screaming, thrashing newborn, and my laptop screen was glowing in the dark with a massive spreadsheet titled Formula_Matrix_v4_FINAL.xlsx. My wife walked into the kitchen, looked at the screen, looked at my bloodshot...

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