Magazine

Confused dad holding a messy baby's breath floral garland in a nursery

Debugging The Baby's Breath Garland Nursery Disaster

It's 11:43 PM on a Tuesday, and I'm standing on a step stool in my socks, gripping a heavy-duty staple gun in one hand and a crumbling, foul-smelling botanical structure in the other. My 11-month-old son is asleep in the...

Read more

Exhausted dad staring at a massive wicker peacock chair in a narrow hallway

Why navigating baby shower chair rentals nearly broke my spirit

It was pouring with rain, naturally, because this is London, and I was wedged firmly between our Victorian front doorframe and a fifty-seven-inch-tall wicker peacock chair. My wife, Sarah, who was approximately eight hundred months pregnant with the twins at...

Read more

A dad holding pureed homegrown organic lettuce next to a baby in a highchair

Botanical Interests Organic Lettuce Mesclun Gourmet Baby Seed

I was standing in aisle four of the Pearl District Whole Foods, aggressively cross-referencing a bag of pre-washed spinach with the CDC’s active E. coli outbreak database on my phone, while my eleven-month-old actively tried to lick the shopping cart...

Read more

Jess folding a mountain of essential baby and toddler equipment lumolog style in her Texas living room

My Essential Baby and Toddler Equipment Lumolog Guide

I was exactly eight months pregnant with my oldest, sitting on the floor of what used to be my craft room, sobbing into a plastic wipe warmer. My husband had just spent three hours trying to assemble a baby swing...

Read more

A dad holding a vintage plush dragon while looking stressed in a nursery

The Absurd Reality of Hunting for a December 9 Beanie Baby

My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last Tuesday, holding a 1998 plush dragon by its tail like it was a dead rat. She informed me, with the solemnity of a war general, that placing any soft toy within a...

Read more

Vintage tie-dye Groovy the Bear sitting on a high nursery shelf out of reach

The 3 AM Nostalgia Spiral and the January 10th Beanie Baby

I was wearing my husband Dave's college sweatpantsβ€”the ones with the mysterious bleach hole near the left kneeβ€”balancing a lukewarm mug of dark roast on my nursing pillow, while frantically refreshing an auction site on my phone. My left breast...

Read more

Toddler girl looking at a small bird in the grass while wearing an organic cotton romper.

How long do baby birds stay in the nest before flying away?

"Don't touch it, the mother will smell your grubby little hands and disown it forever!" I shrieked, lunging across the damp London grass with the grace of a man who hasn't slept a full night since the twins were born...

Read more

A dad looking confused while holding an Allen wrench next to a half-assembled wooden crib.

Why I Went Down a Late-Night Rabbit Hole About Crib Scandals

I was holding a 20-volt DeWalt impact driver in one hand and a piece of splintered, ostensibly non-toxic mahogany in the other when my wife gently suggested from the doorway that I was "doing it wrong." It was a Tuesday...

Read more

A tired dad looking at a spreadsheet of baby gifts on his laptop.

Troubleshooting the New Mums and Baby Gifts Australia Market

Three different people gave me completely conflicting advice when my sister in Sydney had her baby last month. My neighbor here in Portland told me to ship a six-foot plush kangaroo because "babies love scale." My childless project manager suggested...

Read more