My Humbling Defeat to the Baby Bubble Romper: A Tech Dad's Guide
Tuesday, 2:14 PM. That was the exact timestamp on my smart home logs when I realized trying to wrangle rigid denim onto a screaming eleven-month-old is a foolproof way to break your own spirit. My wife was at a conference,...
The Complete Dad Guide to Surviving Baby Girl Easter Outfits
The great tulle disaster of last month taught me a very hard lesson about infant formalwear. My wife was out with friends, and I decided to run a beta test on a highly structured, aggressively ruffled dress my mother-in-law sent...
Before You Buy That Baby Girl Thanksgiving Outfit, Read This
It's 2019, and I'm wedged between the toilet and the bathtub in my mother-in-law's guest bathroom, sweating through my own maternity sweater. I'm desperately trying to peel a rigid, glittery tulle turkey dress off my screaming four-month-old. The giblet gravy...
Surviving the Holidays: The Truth About Baby Boy Christmas Outfits
I'm sitting on the floor of my sister-in-law's guest room in Naperville, sweating entirely through a silk blouse. It's December 24th, two years ago. I'm holding a rigid, red velvet baby blazer that costs more than my own winter coat,...
The Ultimate Real-Life Baby Steps Trophy Guide for Parents
I was elbow-deep in shipping labels for my Etsy shop, desperately trying to get twelve custom nursery signs out the door before the post office closed, when I heard it. The distinct, terrifying sound of a twenty-pound human achieving bipedal...
Debugging The Baby Beanie: My Thermal Miscalculations As A Dad
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, roughly two weeks after we brought our son home, and I was staring at the Nanit monitor on my nightstand like it was a mission-critical server dashboard. The camera feed showed my kid...
The Great Baby Footwear Debate: Why Tall Options Are The Only Way
I was standing in the produce aisle at H-E-B trying to remember if we needed cilantro, while my mother-in-law texted me that putting any kind of footwear on a three-week-old would permanently stunt his foot growth, right as a sweet...
Why most kids' clothes are actually a trap disguised as cute
It was 2:13 a.m. in the middle of a brutal Chicago February. The thermostat claimed it was sixty-eight degrees, but the nursery felt like a meat locker. I was holding my screaming son at arm's length because he was covered...
Surviving Chicago Winters With a Long Sleeve Baby Girl Bodysuit
I'm standing by the changing table in our drafty apartment. It's mid-November, the wind is howling off Lake Michigan, and my six-day-old daughter is screaming. She looks like a furious, wrinkled potato. My mother had lovingly shipped a box of...