How A Sugar Baby Watermelon Defeated Me And My Twin Toddlers
If you ever find yourself wondering whether a standard kitchen sponge is abrasive enough to remove dried fruit pulp from a matte-painted wall, let me save you a frantic Google search. It isn't. You need a dedicated scraper and a...
The Truth About Baby Pillows (And Why You Really Don't Need One)
I was standing in my nursery three days postpartum, hormonal tears stinging my eyes, holding a tiny pair of socks and staring at what looked like a miniature prison cell. My mom had just left after a visit, having casually...
The Baby Owl Bug: Sleep Hacks, Separation Panic and Bird Law
My mom told me on Tuesday to just let him cry it out because he's testing my authority, which is hilarious because he's eleven months old and mostly communicates by blowing raspberries at the dog. On Wednesday, our ultra-crunchy Portland...
The Teething Gel Confusion: What I Learned About Numbing Gums
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the harsh fluorescent light of our open bathroom medicine cabinet, holding a tiny tube of adult toothache gel I had leftover from a minor dental procedure last year....
Dear Jess: The Honest Truth About The Baby Milo Confusion
Dear Jess from six months ago, I know you're sitting on the porch right now, sweating through a t-shirt in this ridiculous Texas humidity, staring at your phone while the toddler tries to feed gravel to the dog. You're exhausted....
What No One Tells You About Feeding Your Kid Lamb
I was sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor at two in the morning, furiously googling the internal temperature of a braised shank. My kitchen smelled like a Greek diner, and my six-month-old was asleep upstairs, blissfully unaware that I was...
The Honest Truth About Flat Spots and That Expensive Baby Helmet
I was sitting in the pediatrician's office with my oldestβwho's now five and completely fine, but was then a three-month-old potato with a head shaped vaguely like a deflated footballβconvinced I had ruined his brain forever. Iβd gone down a...
Why I Stopped Debugging My Baby's Percentile Data
The crinkly paper on the exam table was already shredded by the time Dr. Evans walked in with her tablet. Baby G, completely naked except for a very heavy diaper, was violently executing a series of bicycle kicks against my...
At What Age Do Babies Crawl? The Honest Southern Mom Truth
I was standing in the church foyer last Sunday holding my youngest, who's currently built like a beautiful, squishy sack of flour, when three different women decided to give me unsolicited updates on their own grandchildren's mobility. Ms. Betty told...