Magazine

Exhausted mom drinking coffee while toddler acts like a baby boss.

Letter to Past Me: How to Survive the Real-Life Baby Boss Phase

It’s 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm sitting on the cold linoleum of the kitchen floor wearing the grey sweatpants with the mystery yogurt stain on the left thigh, clutching a mug of tepid French roast like it’s a...

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A frustrated mom looking at a flexible mesh baby gate spanning a hallway.

The Blunt Truth About Retractable Baby Gates (And My Worst Night)

It was 6:15 PM, I had a half-empty jar of marinara sauce tucked under my left arm, a screaming six-month-old anchored on my right hip, and my two-year-old was actively trying to feed the dog a AAA battery he found...

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Dad holding baby looking at a pediatric clinic brochure about winter viruses

Letter to Past Marcus: The Patch Notes on RSV Vaccine Babies

I'm sitting here in the dark watching the Govee hygrometer on the nursery dresser tick from 48% to 49% humidity, listening to the rhythmic, slightly squeaky breathing of our eleven-month-old. The Portland rain is currently hammering against the window with...

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Marcus typing on his laptop while his baby plays on a wooden play gym

Why The Simone Biles Baby Rumors Make Me Rethink Family Boundaries

My mother-in-law was hovering a forkful of heavily buttered mashed potatoes in mid-air when she casually asked if we had started trying for "the sequel" yet, which is a genuinely wild thing to ask someone who hasn't slept for a...

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A tired mother checking her sleeping baby's skin tone in dim nursery lighting.

The yellow baby panic and other postpartum surprises

Three in the morning. The cheap humidifier is humming in the corner, throwing a weird blue light across the bassinet. I'm staring at my newborn son's face, trying to figure out if the bulb is casting strange shadows or if...

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A stressed dad wearing a tush baby carrier in a crowded London pub

The Tush Baby Survival Guide: Why I Wear a Tactical Hip Shelf

We were somewhere near the dinosaur skeletons at the Natural History Museum when my left bicep finally went on strike. Maya had decided the floor was lava, Chloe had decided the pram was a medieval torture device, and I was...

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A stressed pregnant mom looking at baby name lists on a clipboard.

The Absolute Messy Truth About Finding Unique Baby Names in 2024

I was thirty-two weeks pregnant, sitting at the nurse station at Northwestern Memorial, staring blankly at a patient chart. The poor kid had a name with five consecutive consonants and a silent q. My shift was ending, my ankles looked...

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A mom pushing an UPPAbaby Vista stroller through a crowded city street with a coffee.

The Brutally Honest Truth About Buying an UPPAbaby Stroller

My husband was holding an iced coffee that was dripping condensation all over a display of breast pumps, staring at the price tag like it had just insulted his ancestors. We were standing in the middle of Buy Buy Babyβ€”RIP...

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Vintage porcelain doll sitting next to modern sustainable wooden baby toys on a messy living room rug

Wait, Is Whatever Happened to Baby Jane a New Organic Brand?

It was 11:43 PM on a Thursday. I was wearing Dave’s raggedy college sweatpants with a deeply questionable yogurt stain on the left knee, balancing a lukewarm cup of decaf coffee on my chestβ€”why do I even bother with decaf,...

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