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Why I Finally Ditched the Neon Plastic Baby Play Gym
It was a Tuesday, roughly 2:15 PM in late October 2017. Maya was exactly fourteen weeks old, and I was wearing a pair of dark grey maternity leggings that I had absolutely no intention of retiring anytime soon. They had...
The Great Spaghetti Bolognese Incident and Feeding Set Truths
There's a very specific, hollow sound that a ceramic bowl makes when it hits a hardwood floor after being launched from the terrifying altitude of an Ikea highchair. It's a sound that instantly ages you five years. It was a...
Decoding The Perfect Infant Gift Set Without Crashing Your System
I'm currently staring at a miniature denim jacket that features six fully functional, incredibly stiff metal buttons. My son is eleven months old now, but when he was a newborn, someone handed us a beautifully wrapped box containing this rigid...
The Great Wool Disaster: Picking the Right Yarn for Your Baby
The baby monitor glowing angrily on my nightstand said the nursery was exactly 68 degrees, which is supposedly the good sleeping temperature for a human infant. It was 2:14 AM on a damp Portland Tuesday, and my 11-month-old son was...
Die absolut ehrliche Antwort auf: Welche ZahnbΓΌrste fΓΌr Babys
Der Kiefer meines Sohnes hat die SchlieΓkraft eines kleinen Alligators. Das wurde mir an einem Dienstagmorgen klar, als ich versuchte, eine sehr Γ€sthetische, beige BambuszahnbΓΌrste aus seinem Mund zu hebeln. Ich wollte ein durchgestyltes, nachhaltiges Badezimmer. Er wollte auf dem...
The contradictory truth about bambus decken and infant sleep
My mother-in-law told me I needed to wrap him in three layers of thick wool or he'd catch pneumonia in the middle of a Chicago July. The lactation consultant told me to use absolutely zero fabrics, stick to skin-to-skin only,...
Why That Cute Infant Bedding Set is Actually a Terrible Idea
I was sweating through my maternity shirt, wrestling a thick, heavily embroidered quilt into a crib that looked like it belonged in a Victorian museum. I had just dropped way too much money on a matching ten-piece nursery package for...
The longsleeve baby survival guide from a tired triage nurse
July in Chicago is a specific kind of miserable. The window unit in our living room sounds like a dying tractor, fighting a losing battle against the humidity. My daughter is asleep on a playmat in just a diaper, looking...
Dear Past Marcus: Troubleshooting the Great Baby Mat Matrix
Row 47 of my "Baby Infrastructure" Google Sheet is where my sanity finally encountered a fatal error. It was 2:14 AM. The ambient temperature in the nursery was exactly 71.4 degrees, I had logged 11 wet diapers for the day,...