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Babyinfant healthnewbornparenting humorparenting tipssolid food
Exhausted dad looking at a smartphone while holding a very grumpy, red-faced baby.

Is Your Baby Constipated? The Great 3 AM London Nappy Standoff

It was 4:14 AM on a Tuesday when Florence began her impression of an Olympic weightlifter attempting a personal best. Her face turned a shade of crimson I previously thought was reserved for London buses, her tiny knees pulled up...

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11-month-old12-month-oldearly developmentparenting humorsensory play
A half-eaten green crayon on a messy highchair tray next to a scribbled paper

The unvarnished truth about baby coloring pages and eating wax

We were sitting in a rather nice gastropub in Highbury when Florence, who was exactly eleven months and four days old, locked eyes with me and bit the top half off a complimentary red pub crayon. She chewed it with...

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newbornnurseryparenthoodparenting humorsafesafety tips
A tiny baby centipede crawling on a white nursery wall

That 3AM Moment We Met a Baby Centipede (And Panicked)

The luminous dial on the baby monitor read 2:14 AM. I was standing in the semi-darkness of the nursery, holding a soiled nappy at arm’s length, trying to calculate if I had the energy to take it to the outside...

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healthinfant safetymillennialorganicparenting humorsolid food
A tired dad staring into a brightly lit refrigerator in a dark kitchen holding a bag of carrots

Midnight fridge audits and the great baby carrots recall panic

It was exactly 11:42 PM on a Tuesday when I found myself knee-deep in the bottom drawer of the fridge, clutching a flashlight between my teeth like a cat burglar who specialises exclusively in stealing root vegetables. The twins were...

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parenting humorparenting humoursafesafety tipssolid foodtravel
An exhausted dad staring into a massive brightly lit American refrigerator at 3am

Surviving the 2024 Baby Carrots Recall in a Jetlagged Haze

We were three days into a Thanksgiving visit to my wife's parents in Massachusetts, and I had just spent twenty minutes wrestling the rental baby car seat into my father-in-law's astronomically large SUV, when my mother-in-law burst through the front...

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infant safetyoutdoorparenting humortoddlers
A scruffy brown baby cardinal sitting in the grass near a toddler's shoe.

That time my twins found a baby cardinal in the garden dirt

"Put the potato down, Florence," I said, barely glancing up from my lukewarm cup of tea. We were two weeks into our summer holiday visiting my wife’s parents in upstate New York, and my primary goal for the afternoon was...

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babybaby healthbaby sleepnewbornorganic clothingparenting humor
Exhausted dad holding twins in the dark reading baby bush hospital safe sleep guidelines on his phone

A 3AM Panic, A Baby Bush Hospital Article, And Surviving Twins

It was 3:14 AM on a wet Tuesday, and the frankly demonic electronic voice of a cartoon panda driving a baby bus was the only thing preventing my left arm from going entirely numb. Zoe was wedged firmly in my...

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baby gearbreastfeedingfourth trimestermillennialorganic cottonparenting humor
A tiny breast pump motor sitting on a desk next to digital calipers and tubing

The Baby Buddha Breast Pump: A Dad’s Guide to Troubleshooting

It was 3 AM, and I was holding a pair of digital calipers, trying to measure my wife's nipples to the exact millimeter while she glared at me from the edge of the bed. This isn't exactly how I pictured...

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90s nostalgiaBabyeducational toysparenting humorsafe playtoddler behavior
A messy living room floor with wooden building blocks scattered next to a sofa.

Why We Finally Banned Those Baby Bratz Dolls From Our London Flat

The invasion began on a damp Tuesday afternoon when my wife’s Auntie Pam breezed into our flat, shook off her umbrella, and dropped a shockingly pink, heavily blister-packed box onto our coffee table. Florence and Matilda, our two-year-old twins who...

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