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A Dadβs Guide on How to Sex Baby Bunnies Before Itβs Too Late
I'm currently sitting cross-legged on my living room rug, sweating profusely, staring intensely at the underside of a highly uncooperative ball of fluff, desperately trying to decode its hardware ports. When my wife, Sarah, suggested we encourage two domestic kits...
Smelling like a powdery Brazilian memory won't save your sanity
I was sitting on the edge of the tub, staring at a bottle of Giovanna Baby classic lotion my auntie brought over after the birth. It's pink. It smells like a 1970s powder room mixed with a lingering cherry blossom....
Why A Little Milanese Knit Suit Is Actually Worth the Money
I was standing in the Buc-eeβs bathroom off I-45, sweating clean through my denim jacket, trying to peel a chunky, mustard-yellow cable-knit sweater off my screaming firstborn. It was Thanksgiving weekend, the temperature had dipped to a brisk 55 degrees...
How To Survive the Newborn Phase Without Losing Your Damn Mind
So I'm standing in my kitchen at like 6:15 in the morning, holding Leo who was maybe three weeks old at the time, wearing a pair of Dave's old flannel pajama pants and a maternity tank top that smelled profoundly...
When Is It Safe to Give Your Baby a Blanket?
I was exactly three weeks into this whole motherhood gig when I almost gave myself a heart attack. My oldest son, Carterβwho exists mostly now as a walking cautionary tale for everything I did wrong as a first-time momβwas born...
How to survive a woven baby wrap without losing your mind
I was standing in the hallway at two in the morning. Maya was screaming the kind of red-faced scream that sets off your fight or flight response. I was holding a five-meter strip of linen like it was a giant...
A Letter to My Past Self About Buying Rompers for Newborns
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently standing in the baby aisle at Target, holding a pair of corduroy overalls size 0-3 months, and you need to put them down immediately. I know you're nesting, and I know the...
The weird truth about keeping your infant son warm this winter
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, standing in a freezing Chicago parking lot, violently arguing with my mother on speakerphone about wool. She was convinced my unborn beta would instantly freeze to death the moment we left the maternity ward unless...
Dear past me: What to know about baby quilt kits before you start
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, I know what you're doing right now. You're standing in the dining room at 2:13 AM, staring at a rotary cutter, a cutting mat, and three yards of woodland-creature-patterned fabric. You have convinced...