The Truth About Designer Infant Clothes and Scratchy Tulle
I was sweating straight through my postpartum mesh underwear in the back seat of a Ford F-150 somewhere on Highway 290, frantically trying to unfasten fourteen microscopic pearl buttons while my three-day-old newborn screamed like a banshee. It's funny how...
The evolutionary trap of extremely cute babies and the first year
It's 3:14 AM, and I'm staring at a glowing night-vision screen on my phone. My 11-month-old is doing that weird frog-leg stretch in his crib, completely dead to the world, and I'm just watching his chest rise and fall to...
The truth about high-end baby presents and what parents want
The water in my bathroom sink was turning a very specific shade of neon yellow. It was three in the morning, my son Rohan was screaming from his bassinet with the raw, desperate lung capacity of a code blue patient,...
The Only Realistic Baby Inventory A Panicked Parent Actually Needs
At week 24 of the pregnancy, I made the catastrophic mistake of asking three different people what we needed to buy for our impending human. My mom told me all we needed was love and a massive stack of cloth...
Why My Spreadsheet Strategy For Budget Baby Clothes Completely Failed
At 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was staring at a pivot table I'd built to calculate the exact cost-per-wear of an infant's wardrobe. My son was three months old at the time, and I was treating his closet like...
Building A Bulletproof Baby Depot For Surviving The Newborn Chaos
It was three in the morning in the dead of a Chicago winter when I finally lost my mind. I was standing in my living room holding a screaming infant, staring at a corner of the house that looked like...
That 3 AM Nightmare: Surviving a Wunder Po bei Babys at Home
3:14 AM. A Tuesday. I'm standing in the nursery wearing Dave's ridiculously oversized Villanova sweatpants with a mysterious yogurt stain on the knee, and ten-month-old Maya is screaming like I'm trying to actively murder her. It wasn't her normal "I'm...
Dear Jess: Stop buying the velvet holiday dresses for your baby
It's currently July, you're sweating completely through your maternity shorts in the hundred-degree Texas heat, and for some ungodly reason, you're scrolling the internet looking at a stiff, synthetic red velvet monstrosity with eighty-two sequins on it. I need you...
Dear Past Priya: The Clinical Reality of Baby Clothes Shopping
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently standing in the glow of a cracked iPhone screen at 3:14 AM. You're holding a newborn who just produced a blowout that somehow breached the known laws of physics, and you're staring...