That Accidental Internet Search Disaster & Why We're Going Unplugged
I was sitting in my worn-out nursing chair at two in the morning, practically cross-eyed with exhaustion, balancing my phone on my sleeping three-month-old's forehead while I tried to stay awake. My teenage niece had been at the house earlier,...
The Truth About The Most Valuable Beanie Babies in Your Attic
It's 9:45 AM on a Tuesday, I'm wearing my husband Dave's absolute grossest college sweatpants with the hole in the knee, and I'm sitting cross-legged on the dusty floor of my mother's guest room staring at a giant, cracked Rubbermaid...
What The Lana Rhoades Baby Drama Taught Me About Online Privacy
I was sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of my downstairs bathroom at 2:14 AM, the blue light of my phone illuminating a weird stain on my sweatpants that I was aggressively pretending was just yogurt. Leo was four months...
The messy truth about putting a newborn on paper without going crazy
It's raining sideways in Chicago. The kind of rain that makes you reconsider ever leaving your house again. We're trapped in the living room, and the walls are closing in. Rohan has a fistful of crushed crayons and is demanding...
The 3 AM Search For A Baby Doll Batman Sent Me Down A Weird Rabbit ...
It's 3:14 AM, and the amber glow of my phone screen is the only light in a room that currently smells heavily of Calpol and desperation. Maya (Twin A, currently operating with the feral energy of a raccoon trapped in...
Raising Baby Elephants: The Truth About Elephant Parenting
I spent the first three months of my son's life armed with a color-coded spreadsheet. I tracked sleep windows, ounces consumed, and bowel movements with the grim intensity of a charge nurse during a code blue. I thought if I...
What pediatric nurses actually think about feeding baby dolls
I'm standing over my kitchen sink at two in the morning with a pair of surgical tweezers, a flashlight held between my teeth, and a deep sense of regret. My toddler's favorite interactive infantβthe one that supposedly eats synthetic powdered...
My Bizarre Search for a Baby Firefly Costume and What I Learned
The baby monitor on my secondary display currently reads exactly 68.4 degrees, which is supposedly the good ambient temperature for an eleven-month-old to achieve deep REM sleep, though she's currently doing this weird phantom nursing motion with her mouth that...
Why I Threw Away the Pink Plastic (And Found Better Baby Girl Toys)
It was 2:14 AM on December 26th, and I was sitting on the floor in a nursing bra that had completely given up the ghost sometime in 2016 and a pair of Dave's boxer briefs, furiously crying over a plastic...