Who Determines the Sex of the Baby? The Honest Truth
Pushing a broom across a gravel driveway in mid-July is a fool's errand, but there I was, six months pregnant, trying to sweep up damp pink confetti from a gender reveal cannon that had just backfired all over my husband's...
The Great Baby Basket Delusion: From Wicker Beds to Foam Hoops
I'm standing in the hallway at 4:17 a.m. holding Florence, who's currently rigid with fury, staring at a pristine, Β£150 woven baby basket that looks like it belongs in a Victorian bakery. Before the twins arrived, I'd thoroughly convinced myself...
Building A Survival Baby Hamper For The 3 AM Meltdowns
It's exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. Maya is four days old, and she's screaming with the intensity of a tiny, furious dinosaur. I'm standing in our dark kitchen wearing nothing but mesh hospital underwear and a nursing bra that...
The Absurd Reality of High-End Baby Clothes
When I was eight months pregnant with Leo, my mother sat me down at her kitchen table, tapped her coffee mug with her fingernail, and told me to only buy stark white cotton so I could bleach the absolute hell...
The Truth About New Baby Gifts (And Why I Burned a Cardigan)
Itβs late October 2017. I'm sitting on the edge of a remarkably uncomfortable IKEA glider in my dimly lit nursery, wearing a nursing bra that smells intensely like sour milk and sheer desperation. I'm holding my three-day-old daughter, Maya, who's...
Dear Me: Put Down the Flashing Plastic Crap in That Toy Store
Dear Sarah from six months ago, It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday. You're currently standing in Aisle 14 of that massive, soul-crushing infant toy store off Interstate 80. You're wearing those black lululemon leggings with the mysterious yogurt stain on...
The Truth About Predicting Your Baby's Sex (And Baking Soda)
I was sitting cross-legged on the cold, unforgiving hexagonal tiles of our rental apartmentβs bathroom at 3 AM, wearing my husbandβs faded college sweatpants and holding a red plastic cup that contained a mixture of my own urine and Arm...
The brutal reality of picking baby shower invitations for a girl
I was twenty-six weeks pregnant, eating fruit antacids like they were candy, staring at my laptop at two in the morning. The screen was a sea of aggressively pink digital paper. The search query was simple enough. I was just...
What to Look for in a Baby Shower Guest Dress (Without Losing Your ...
Dear Jess of six months ago, currently standing in front of your open closet, sweating into a stained Target graphic tee while trying to figure out what the heck "garden casual" means. I see you, I'm you, and I need...