Magazine

A messy nursery floor with a soft pastel swaddle blanket and a coffee mug

The 3 AM Battle Between Crusty Pink Eyes and Pastel Aesthetics

It was three in the morning the night before our big extended family photoshoot. I was sitting on the nursery floor staring at two very specific things. One was my fresh manicure, an expensive gel job featuring those trendy baby...

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A clumsy oversized baby resembling the Baby Huey cartoon trope

Raising a Baby Huey: When Your Infant Is Off the Charts

It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was losing a wrestling match against a seven-month-old. The left leg went into the sleep sack fine, but the right leg was suddenly entirely incompatible with the fabric, mostly because the...

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Toddler wearing a green baby g costume sitting next to destroyed holiday wrapping paper

Why the Viral Baby Grinch Trend is Actually Ruining Holidays

My mother-in-law told me I needed to establish firm dominance the second my toddler started acting like a green menace this December. The moms in my neighborhood group suggested the exact opposite, telling me to lean into the chaos and...

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Two messy toddlers covered in organic baby cereal sitting in high chairs

What I Got Completely Wrong About Baby Cereal

There's a patch of gray, cement-like substance currently adhered to the underside of my kitchen island, and I honestly don't think it's ever coming off. It has survived three rounds of antibacterial spray, a vigorous scrubbing with a wire brush,...

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Mom holding a floral baby blanket instead of real baby breath flowers

The Truth About Baby's Breath Flowers at Your Shower

I was standing in the middle of my living room at seven in the morning, eight months pregnant with my oldest, aggressively sniffing my own sofa cushions. My mom was in the kitchen cutting crusts off pimento cheese sandwiches for...

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A tired British dad wearing twin girls in dark grey Swedish carriers while attempting to drink cold tea.

How A Mountain Of Baby Bjorn Gear Saved My Sanity With Twins

It was half-past three in the morning on day four of twin parenthood, and I was trying to eat a piece of cold toast while balancing one screaming infant on my left forearm and another on my right knee. My...

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Marcus troubleshooting the slippery infant bath setup in his Portland home - KIANAO

Debugging the Infant Wash Cycle: A Letter to My Clueless Past Self

You're currently holding a screaming, soapy five-month-old over a stainless steel kitchen sink while the water temperature wildly fluctuates between Arctic runoff and molten lava, and you're terrified. I know this because I'm you, writing from six months in the...

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A disassembled plastic doll sitting next to a damp cloth and forceps

The surgical reality of buying a baby alive doll for your kid

It's eleven at night. The lighting in my guest bathroom is deeply unflattering. I'm holding a pair of stainless steel tweezers in my right hand and my phone flashlight in my left. Pinned firmly beneath my elbow is a rigid...

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Frantic dad trying to shop for baby gear online with twins

The Great Megastore Myth and What Babies Actually Need

The most long-standing lie of modern parenting is that you can't safely extract a newborn from the hospital without first making a pilgrimage to a brightly lit, warehouse-sized retail behemoth. I distinctly remember sitting in the dark at 3am, furiously...

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