Why Ms Rachel Works Like a Glitch in My Baby's Brain
The production database locked up at exactly 4:13 PM on a Tuesday, which was incidentally the exact moment my eleven-month-old decided his incoming lateral incisor required a decibel level usually reserved for jet engine testing. Outside, the Portland rain was...
Why googling "Luna baby" at 3 AM is actually a terrible idea
I'm sitting on the cold, hexagonal tile of my master bathroom floor, and it's exactly 3:14 AM. I know it's 3:14 AM because the glowing red numbers on the digital clock Dave insisted we put in there are glaring at...
The Real Truth About How To Make Baby Villagers Grow Faster
Last Tuesday at 3:14 AM, the ambient temperature in my living room was exactly 68.4 degrees, I was running on four hours of deeply fragmented sleep, and I was aggressively throwing virtual carrots at a digital infant. I was desperately...
Debugging Infant Nasal Congestion With the Frida Baby Nebulizer
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, the room temperature was exactly 71.5 degrees, and the humidifier was running at maximum capacity to make our Portland bedroom feel like a tropical rainforest. And yet, the 11-month-old was still whistling through...
What I Wish I Knew About the VAVA Baby Monitor
Listen. I know you're sitting on the edge of the glider right now, staring at a frozen smartphone app while your six-month-old cries in the other room. It's 3 AM in Chicago. The radiator is hissing. Your Wi-Fi router just...
Who Is In The Oho Enthan Baby Cast? And Other Screen Time Realities
My mother-in-law swears that blasting Bollywood musicals while a baby sleeps builds character and deepens their REM cycle. The senior charge nurse from my pediatric rotation used to tell mothers that a single exposure to a glowing screen before age...
The Bruce Bolt Graduated Compression Arm Sleeve - Baby Blue
It was 3:14 AM, the glow of my second monitor was illuminating the living room wall, and I was holding a cylindrical tube of incredibly tight, moisture-wicking spandex next to my 11-month-oldβs chubby left forearm. He was gnawing on a...
My Humiliating Physics Lesson on Staircase Barriers
I was standing at the top of our fourteen-step Portland craftsman staircase holding a plastic tension rod barrier, a laser level, and a completely false sense of confidence. My wife, Sarah, paused on her way to the kitchen, shifting our...
Dear Past Me: Just Buy The Eufy Baby Monitor And Go To Sleep
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. It's 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of the upstairs bathroom because it's the only place in the house where...