How We Survived Slow Cooker Pork Ribs Without A Trip To The ER
The apartment smelled like brown sugar and smoked wood. It was a freezing November Sunday in Chicago, and I had the slow cooker going on low since six in the morning. Rohan was eight months old, sitting in his high...
That Time Sir Mix-A-Lot Baby Got Back Literally Saved My Sanity
It was exactly 3:14 AM. I know this because the glowing red numbers on the digital clock were searing themselves into my retinas while I bounced on a deflated blue yoga ball so violently my teeth were literally rattling in...
Why Parents Are Panicking Over the Silksong Baby Hornet
I was elbow-deep in pureed peas when my teenage nephew casually dropped the bomb. He was staring at his phone, completely oblivious to the domestic chaos unfolding around him, and muttered something about a silksong baby hornet dropping soon. My...
Troubleshooting the Invisible: Infant Silent Reflux
My mother-in-law confidently informed me that his sudden back-arching meant he was an advanced genius trying to roll over early. The barista at our neighborhood Portland roastery swore the fussiness was just a dairy sensitivity and literally slid a pamphlet...
Signs of alcohol in breastfed baby: A dad's late-night diary
The sound of a cork leaving a bottle of moderately priced Pinot Grigio at 7:14 PM on a rainy Tuesday in Islington should be a joyous occasion. For my wife, Sarah, it was the first glass of wine she had...
Dear Past Me: Please Put Down the Shrek Baby Costume and Walk Away
Dear Priya from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in the seasonal aisle at Target. You haven't slept in three days. You're holding a deeply flammable polyester green ogre costume and furiously Googling if infants can watch early 2000s...
She Told My Baby We Danced Till Three: The 3 AM Sleep Guide
The most dangerous lie they tell you before you leave the hospital isn't about feeding schedules or umbilical cord care—it's the terrifying assumption that when a baby gets tired, they'll simply close their eyes and power down. Total fiction. When...
That Santa Baby Kim Kardashian Video vs Our Real Holiday Chaos
I was standing dead in the center of my mother-in-law's aggressively pine-scented living room in December 2017, wearing a pair of black maternity leggings that still had a crusty white streak of spit-up down the left thigh, clutching a mug...
Note to self on surviving the toddler sprint phase without crying
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently standing in the produce aisle at the Mariano's on Western Avenue. Your fourteen-month-old just dropped your hand. He is making a break for the automatic doors. You thought this was a phase...