The Oh Baby Illusion And The Messy Reality Of Your First Year
I was standing in the kitchen at half-past three in the morning, staring blankly at the leftover winnie the pooh baby shower invitations still pinned to our fridge. They were beautiful, really. Pristine cardstock, muted pastel colours, a delicate little...
Dear Past Priya: What You Got Wrong About Pond Wildlife
Dear April Priya. You're standing at the edge of the Humboldt Park lagoon with a fistful of stale sourdough, a hyperactive toddler balanced on your hip, and a burning desire to create a core memory. The sun is out, the...
Pinkfong Baby Shark: How to Survive the Doo-Doo-Doo Toddler Phase
I was wedged between a fifty-pound sack of flour and my bulk box of paper towels in the pantry, stress-eating a handful of stale Goldfish crackers, while the muffled sound of "doo doo doo doo doo doo" echoed through the...
The Truth Behind the Sugar Baby Movie Hype for Modern Parents
Dear Past Jess, It's two in the morning, and I'm currently sitting on the floor of our living room here in rural Texas, staring at a laundry basket that looks like it's actively reproducing. I'm peeling a mysterious, crusty substance...
The Three Wise Men and a Baby Cast: Hollywood Myths and Plaster
It's 3:14 in the morning, and I'm watching three perfectly groomed Canadian actors attempt to figure out how a nappy works while my left shoulder slowly absorbs a terrifying volume of pureed carrot. I'm rewatching the Hallmark holiday juggernaut Three...
The Truth About Baby Feet: Why Everyone's Advice Is Dead Wrong
I swear, the minute I brought my oldest, Jackson, home from the hospital, it was open season on his toes. My mom took one look at his bare little feet on a perfectly pleasant 75-degree Texas afternoon and shrieked that...
The Brutal Reality of Mixing Tiny Puppies and Newborn Twins
I'm standing in our narrow London hallway, holding a slightly stiff hospital blanket that smells intensely of NHS-grade floor cleaner and sheer panic. Page 47 of a highly-rated parenting manual told me I should present this artifact to our terrier...
What a Wild Baby Chimp Taught Me About Raising Twin Toddlers
I'm currently lying flat on the rug in our London living room, staring at a patch of ceiling that desperately needs painting, while someone repeatedly hits my left shin with a plastic spatula. Twin A (Isla) is shrieking because her...
Why a 1980s baby boom cast makes more sense than modern apps
My mum casually mentioned last Tuesday that if I didn't start putting a pulverized rusk into the twins' nighttime milk, they would never sleep past 4 am and I'd be looking at stunted growth by their third birthday. The bloke...