Magazine

Nervous dad looking at a blurry 2D infant sonogram screen in a dark clinic room

Baby Ultrasound Expectations vs. Reality: A Nervous Dad's Guide

The worst Tuesday of my entire life started in a strip mall between a discount vape shop and a dry cleaner that smelled aggressively like harsh chemicals. My wife, Sarah, was 28 weeks pregnant, and her sister had gifted us...

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A confused dad looking at his phone while an 11-month-old baby plays on a wooden gym.

The Baby Ruth Conundrum: Candy Hazards & Expert Parenting Truths

Last Tuesday, my mother casually suggested I rub some whiskey on my 11-month-old's swollen gums and hand him a chunk of a baby ruth candy bar to chew on while I made dinner. Two hours later, my neighborβ€”a veteran dad...

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An eleven month old baby trying to eat a credit card on a rug

Dear Past Marcus: Debugging The Toddler Consumerism Bug

Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the living room rug, watching our five-month-old try to gnaw the security chip off your Amex card. You think it's hilarious. You're probably taking a photo to send to...

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A blurry infrared night vision view of a baby sleeping peacefully in a crib

Why Dumb Tech Is Actually Better for Your Baby's Sleep

It was 2:14 AM and my phone was glowing an angry, pulsating red. The oxygen alarm was going off. I basically vaulted over my sleeping wife, kicked a laundry basket into the hallway wall, and burst into the nursery expecting...

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A stressed dad watching a husky dog sniff around a baby playpen in a living room

How to Survive a Husky and a Human Baby Without Losing Your Mind

There's a very specific type of panic that sets in when a fifty-pound sled dog tries to initiate a play-bow with a sleeping infant. You just freeze, calculating the physics of a rapidly wagging tail colliding with a soft fontanelle,...

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Marcus holding his 11-month-old baby while looking at a laptop screen in a dark room

Why the Pretty Baby Movie Documentary Broke My Dad Brain

It was 3:14 AM, the Portland rain was actively trying to dissolve our roof, and my 11-month-old daughter was using my sternum as a memory foam mattress. I had my phone brightness dialed down to absolute zero, squinting through the...

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Exhausted dad staring at a thermometer while holding a baby

Truths About the RSV Vaccine for Babies (And Surviving Winter)

There's a spectacularly dangerous lie told to first-time parents by well-meaning older relatives, usually delivered over a lukewarm cup of tea. They lean in conspiratorially and tell you that a mild winter cold is actually brilliant for building up a...

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Newborn baby wrapped in a blanket with a slightly squished puffy face

Dear Priya, it is totally normal to think your newborn looks weird

Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on a plastic-covered mattress in room 4B of the maternity ward. The fluorescent lights are buzzing in that specific, anxiety-inducing pitch that only hospital fixtures can manage. You have ice packs...

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Tired mom standing in a messy kitchen at night looking at a baby heating machine.

Dear Past Me: The baby brezza bottle warmer Survival Guide

Dear Sarah of six months ago, It’s 3:14 AM. You’re standing barefoot on the freezing faux-terracotta tiles in the kitchen, wearing Dave’s oversized college hoodie that has a suspicious yogurt stain on the pocket, and you're staring at a plastic...

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