Magazine

A tired mom holding a baby while looking at a smartphone in a dimly lit nursery.

What the King Harris Baby Drama Taught Me About Surviving Newborns

Dear Jess from six months ago. I know exactly where you're right now, and I'm just gonna be real with youβ€”you need to put the phone down. You're sitting on the very edge of the rocking chair in the nursery,...

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Tired dad holding a coffee mug and looking confused at his phone

The jason lee and tiffany haddish baby rumour broke my brain

Whatever you do, don't look at celebrity Instagram accounts at three in the morning while one of your two-year-olds is actively trying to dismantle a stair gate with a plastic spoon. I made this massive mistake last August, which is...

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Mom looking stressed at kitchen table with tax forms and coffee

Dear Past Me: Navigating The New Trump Account Drama

Dear Sarah from six months ago, It's April 14th. You're sitting at the kitchen island in those gray sweatpantsβ€”you know, the ones with the bleach stain on the left thigh that you refuse to throw away. It's 11:32 PM. You're...

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Mom singing pop songs to her baby on a wooden play mat

Why "Love You Like A Love Song" Saved My Sanity (A Letter)

Dear Jess from last November. You're currently sitting on the peeling linoleum in the hallway, hiding from a four-month-old who's screaming like a tiny banshee because you put him on his stomach. The Texas heat is absolutely brutal outside, our...

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A tired dad in Portland holding a crying eleven month old baby while staring at a cold cup of coffee.

Dear Past Me: How to Survive the Whiny Baby Phase Without Losing It

You're currently standing in the kitchen staring into the glow of the open refrigerator at 3:14 AM, listening to the relentless, high-pitched vocalizations coming from the nursery monitor. You're holding a cold bottle of formula in one hand and your...

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A tape measure stretched across a living room rug next to coffee cups

My Entirely Accidental Education on the Yamaha Baby Grand Piano

I was literally on my hands and knees on the living room rug, wearing those gray Lululemons with the hole in the left knee that my husband Dave absolutely hates, holding a bright yellow Stanley tape measure while my third...

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Confused dad holding a smartphone while twin babies chew on a wooden toy

What is the baby boo challenge? (And why I nearly called 999)

It’s 7:14 am. I’m currently wearing what used to be a relatively clean grey t-shirt, now aggressively Jackson Pollock-ed with mashed banana and something I strongly suspect is yesterday’s sweet potato. The twins, Maya and Lily, are simultaneously screaming because...

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A tired dad staring at a Baby Brezza machine in a dark kitchen.

The Baby Brezza Formula Reality Check for Sleep-Deprived Dads

I'm standing in the kitchen at 3:17 AM in a pair of grey jogging bottoms that have seen much better days, desperately trying to count to six. Just the number six. But when you've twin two-year-old girlsβ€”who were, at the...

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A smartphone showing a mobile game next to a baby building block.

The Microtransaction Trap: My Nephew and the Baby Dragon Evo

I was elbow-deep in a Level 4 diaper blowout when my ten-year-old nephew, visiting from Seattle, leaned into the blast radius and asked if I could spot him twenty bucks for a baby dragon evo. I froze, holding a soiled...

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