Why the all on me lil baby track hits different as a London dad
It was 2:14 PM on a grim, relentlessly drizzly Tuesday in London, and I was on my hands and knees scraping something that I desperately hoped was mashed avocado off the skirting board. Twin A (Florence) was howling on the...
The Alex Vesia Baby Update Broke My Brain: A Note To Past Me
It's 2:14 AM here in Portland, the rain is aggressively battering the nursery window, and I'm sitting on the floor staring at a terrifyingly small pile of clothes. Dear Marcus from six months ago: I'm writing you this system log...
Why the Baby Brianna story changed how I debug dad burnout
My Apple Watch buzzed my wrist at 3:14 AM to congratulate me on starting an elliptical workout, which was objectively hilarious because I was actually just standing completely still in my kitchen in Portland, vibrating with a level of stress...
Why My Newborn Looked Like the Eraserhead Baby (And How We Survived)
It was 3:17 in the morning, a steady London drizzle was blurring the streetlights outside our flat, and I was staring into the hallway mirror holding what appeared to be a hostile alien organism. My hair, unwashed for four days,...
Divorced With a Secret Baby: Emotional Triage for the Family
My own mother told me to sweep the entire situation under the rug. The therapist assigned to us by the clinic suggested we hold a radical honesty circle with a talking stick. My lawyer advised me to communicate exclusively through...
Did Derek Hough Lose a Baby? The Truth About Pregnancy Loss
When we were going through our own jagged little version of hell before the twins arrived, my mum's neighbour leaned over the garden fence to tell me that "the universe only gives you what you can handle." The very next...
So Your Sweet Kid Brought Home A Horrific Joke From Preschool
"Wash his mouth out with Dial soap," my mom texted back immediately after I panic-messaged her from the kitchen floor. My grandma, bless her heart, told me on the phone to just pretend I went completely deaf and ignore it...
Decoding the D4vd Baby Rumors: Managing Panic in the Digital Age
It's two in the morning and the blue glow of my phone is illuminating the dried spit-up on my shoulder. I'm deep in the algorithmic trenches of TikTok, watching a teenager with a halo ring light whisper conspiratorially about the...
It's All Over Now: Surviving The Postpartum Day Five Crash
My mate Dave, over a very hurried pint three weeks before the twins arrived, told me the secret to the first week at home was to "just keep the kettle on and your head down." The glossy NHS leaflet we...