Why the Baby Brianna story changed how I debug dad burnout
My Apple Watch buzzed my wrist at 3:14 AM to congratulate me on starting an elliptical workout, which was objectively hilarious because I was actually just standing completely still in my kitchen in Portland, vibrating with a level of stress...
The Great Baby Decke Deception of the First Twelve Months
I'm standing in our cramped London living room, holding what can only be described as a mountain of pastel knitwear. It's three weeks before the twins are due, and my mother-in-law has just dropped off her contribution to our nursery....
Dear Tom: The Truth About Buying A Baby Quilt
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of the landing outside the twins' room at 3:14 AM. Your lower back is pressed against the radiator, you've a Calpol syringe in your breast pocket like a...
Dear Past Jess: Surviving The Great Baby Saja Demon Incident
Dear Jess of six months ago: Right now, you're standing in the hallway at 2:43 AM holding a shrieking three-year-old who's absolutely convinced the walls are bleeding. Your oldest is asleep in the next room, snoring peacefully, completely unaware that...
The 4 AM Starfish Incident and the Happiest Baby Swaddle
It's 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, though in the windowless temporal void of my daughters' nursery, it might as well be 1994. The room smells faintly of Calpol, sour milk, and my own evaporating dignity. I'm standing over the cot...
Hang In There Baby: Surviving The Fourth Trimester Beta Test
The digital thermometer on the nursery wall read exactly 68.4 degrees. It was 3:14 AM on Day 42 of our daughter's life, and she was executing a continuous, high-pitch audio loop that I was pretty sure violated several international treaties....
Why My Newborn Looked Like the Eraserhead Baby (And How We Survived)
It was 3:17 in the morning, a steady London drizzle was blurring the streetlights outside our flat, and I was staring into the hallway mirror holding what appeared to be a hostile alien organism. My hair, unwashed for four days,...
The Circus Baby FNAF Incident: Why My 7-Year-Old Stopped Sleeping
It was exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. I know this because the glowing red numbers of my alarm clock were practically burning a hole in my retinas. I was wearing my husband Daveβs old Villanova hoodieβthe one with a...
Raising Little Bush Babies: The Wild Truth About Newborn Care
When I brought my first son home, the hospital sliding doors hadn't even closed behind us before the contradictory advice started rolling in. My own mother leaned over the infant car seat in the parking lot and declared I needed...