January Newborn Survival: Forget the Baby Garnet Birthstone Myths
It's three in the morning and you're holding a screaming two-week-old in a freezing, dark room. You type something stupid into your phone because you're desperately trying to figure out if your January newborn's stubbornness is astrological. You search for...
My Messy, Caffeinated Guide to Decoding Infant Nutrition
It was November 2017 and I was wearing my husband Markβs oversized college sweatpantsβthe ones with the bleach stain on the left thigh that he refuses to throw awayβsitting completely paralyzed on our cold kitchen linoleum at 3:15 AM while...
The Messy, Exhausting Truth About What It Takes To Adopt A Baby
I was sitting on the cold hexagonal bathroom tiles at 2:14 AM. The laptop was actually burning my thighs through Dave's gray Villanova sweatpantsβthe ones with the weird bleach stain on the knee from 2018. I had consumed three cups...
The Messy Truth About Acid Reflux In Babies: A Survival Guide
Dear Sarah of seven years ago, You're currently sitting on the bathroom floor in your husbandβs gray college hoodie. It's 3:14 AM. You smell like sour yogurt, desperation, and whatever that weird metallic scent is that babies get when theyβre...
Why I threw our smart baby heart monitor in the trash
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, raining sideways against our Portland windows, when the klaxon sounded. It wasn't a gentle beep. It was the specific, terrifying frequency of a submarine dive alarm broadcasting directly from my nightstand. My wife...
When You Become the Default Human Holder for Your Baby
It was four in the morning in mid-February, the kind of Chicago winter night where the radiators hiss aggressively and the air feels like dry ice. Maya was six weeks old and deep in the trenches of her peak colic...
Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Baby Looney Tunes
Dear Priya from last November. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery in our Logan Square apartment at three in the morning. The radiator is making that terrifying clanking noise again. The baby has a mild fever from...
Notes to myself six months ago on surviving the baby M phase
It's 3:14 in the morning and you're staring at the glow of the humidifier like it holds the answers to the universe. Outside, the Chicago wind is rattling the bedroom window, but inside, all you can hear is the frantic,...
The Truth About Newborn Onesies (And How Many You Actually Need)
Itβs 3:14 AM in November 2019. I'm standing in the glow of a nursery nightlight that's inexplicably shaped like a slice of pizza, holding a screaming, poop-covered three-week-old Maya. I'm wearing my husband's old college sweatpants which also, somehow, have...