Magazine

A tired father holding two babies while looking confused at a smartphone screen.

Why I Applied Chinese Baby Traditions to My British Twins

It was 9:47 PM on a Tuesday, roughly four months before our lives permanently imploded, when my wifeβ€”who was at that point roughly the size and shape of a medium family carβ€”aggressively tapped her phone screen and demanded I calculate...

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A confused dad holding a blue eco-friendly baby blanket while inspecting his baby's skin color

Is My Baby Turning Blue Or Am I Just Sleep-Deprived And Panicking?

When we started weaning the twins, I received three distinct, entirely contradictory pieces of advice within a single twenty-four-hour period. My mother, dispensing wisdom from the 1990s, called to say, "Whatever you do, Tommy, don't give them carrots yet, they'll...

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Two messy toddlers covered in puree while dad opens a glass jar of beechnut baby food

The Truth About Beechnut Baby Food When You Have Twin Girls

It was 11:43 PM on a Tuesday. The NutriBullet was emitting a high-pitched scream usually reserved for dying spacecraft, and I was standing in my kitchen in nothing but my boxer shorts, covered in a fine, sticky mist of pureed...

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Quartered roasted potatoes on a silicone plate for a child

Sorting out the truth about cooking potatoes for your infant

My mother-in-law told me to boil them in full-fat milk and mash them with enough ghee to lubricate a small engine. She said it would make my son strong, calling him her little beta while ignoring my terrified first-time-mom face....

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A frustrated mom holding a slow-flow bottle next to a nursing pillow

Best Bottles for Breastfed Babies: A Messy Transition Story

We were sitting in booth 42 at the Olive Garden off Interstate 35, and I was actively ruining everyone's lunch. My oldest son was four weeks old, screaming at a pitch that I'm pretty sure shattered a breadstick, and my...

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Baby Brezza Formula Pro Advanced machine sitting on a dark kitchen counter

Dear Past Marcus: Debugging the Baby Brezza Formula Pro Advanced

Dear Marcus from six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM. You're standing barefoot on the cold kitchen tiles of our Portland apartment, illuminated only by the aggressive, blinking red light of a plastic tower. You're holding a screaming five-month-old in...

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Steamed baby bok choy cut into small pieces on a silicone baby plate

How to cook baby bok choy so your infant actually swallows it

It's somehow already dinner time in Chicago. The radiator is hissing, the kitchen smells vaguely of sesame oil and parental desperation, and my toddler is methodically wiping a bright green leaf across her forehead like a damp washcloth. I'm staring...

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Tired dad in kitchen preparing baby formula for twins at midnight

Raising a Formula Baby: The Midnight Maths I Completely Failed

I'm standing in the kitchen in just my boxers, staring blankly at a silver tin of powder while the kettle aggressively clicks off. It's 3:14 AM. Upstairs, Twin A is doing her best impression of a hungry velociraptor, while Twin...

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A wooden high chair pushed up to a messy kitchen dining table

The High Chair Mistakes I Made (So You Don't Have To)

I was sitting on my kitchen floor at 11:15 PM on a Tuesday, wearing sweatpants that smelled aggressively like sour milk, using one of my husband’s old electric toothbrush heads to scrub pulverized sweet potato out of the ruffled seams...

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